Happieness is measured in ounces

I think I've figured out the key to my happiness at least while I'm lactating.

Phillip went to a conference today so I had to wrangle the girls by myself all day. Emma was up at 6:00am and wasn't convinced that snuggling in bed with me after I nursed her was going to be enjoyable so we were up and at 'em.

I sent up a quiet little prayer to please have Sophia stay in bed past 6:30am figuring she had stirred when I went to retrieve Emma.

Sophia stayed in bed and Emma was content in her swing so I could do some work on the computer. This lasted until 7:30am. I figured we would make the most of our day.

Although I'm challenging myself with giving up sugar I'm only about 85-90% compliant! We headed up to the local bakery for a breakfast treat and great coffee. Then to the library to drop a few things in the overnight box followed by our weekly trip to the farmer's market.

I pushed a smiley, content little miss Emma in the stroller and played the "hand squeeze" game with Sophie as we walked through town. Her soft paw nestled in mine. Home again, home again jiggity jig.

Nursed Emma, read some books on the couch and off to Target. Both girls were angels in the store. We didn't have any tantrums. I wasn't bored or annoyed by Sophia's demand to look at the toys-because she never asked this trip.

After lunch both girls napped! Emma-for at least three hours. She even woke up a bit and let me get her back to sleep. I was prepared for a protest. Their naps allowed me to work on finishing up work on a reference list for a paper our neighbor is writing.

Sophia played with the neighbor kids. We had Chick-fil-A for dinner. I got all three of us in our jammies. More nursing, more books. Another jump off the wagon-Ghirardelli Chocolate Chip Brownies...fresh out of the over, still oooey gooey, chocolaty. Sophia looked at me while eating her morsel of a brownie and said "thank you for making brownies mama." If the chocolate isn't enough to make me melt, that is!

No fights. No tantrums. No sitting in the corner. No begging. Just two well behaved girls.

Sophia to bed. Emma to bed. Kitchen cleaned. Wine poured.

And the happiness in ounces you ask? 4 ounces of expressed breast milk. Usually the last pumping of the day I'm lucky to get 2 ounces and that's if I eviscerate my breasts.

The only thing that would have made today better is if Phillip would have been home!

Looking forward

Anyone who knows me or has read this blog knows that I am passionate about pregnancy, birth, motherhood and all that encompasses these topics. I'm an advocate for pregnancy and birth education and just being informed about all of the options that are available to women and their families. I am an advocate for breastfeeding and think it is the right thing to do but fully recognize it is not for everyone, it doesn't always come naturally, and it doesn't always work.

One thing I'm certain of on my quest to "figure it out" is that I know what my passion is and I'm pretty sure I have discovered my "calling." I want to be involved in the maternal health care/women's health and wellness field. My end goal is to become a midwife. I want to let woman know there are alternatives to doctors and hospitals. That they can have more control over their pregnancy and birth experiences. Or at least fully understand what both worlds have to offer.

I can't just up and quit my job to make this happen. But in small ways and large I can take steps towards making this dream a reality. One way I can start on this journey is to become a lactation consultant. This is no easy feat but will help me to become a very well rounded midwife some day and can serve a purpose to make my life more fulfilling in the mean time.

I spoke with lactation consultant, Amber McCann of Nourish, today and feel energized to do my homework and start working toward becoming a lactation consultant. When I thought about this career path after having Sophia I wasn't told 'no' but that it would be difficult to achieve if I wasn't a nurse or already in the health care field. The conversation today proved this wrong!

She told me there need to be more "peers" in the field and not just clinicians. More young people and not just 60 year old women who can't connect with today's moms. More people who want to reach out to undeserved populations to encourage breastfeeding.

Speaking with her gave me a fresh outlook on where I can take my career and how it can dovetail with my family life. I am so excited at the possibility and opportunity that lies ahead of me!

A List

A List- not as in celebrity but rather a single list. Because sometimes it's just easier that way.

1. Had a great weekend. Saw friends, babies, a little bit of Baltimore, church, farmer's market, bought a bike trailer for the kiddos, kids and dogs parade on Main street, fireworks with the neighbors in the middle of the street.

2. I need to blog about my "summer reading."

3. Want to share my feelings/reaction to "Cinderella Ate My Daughter."

4. We went horseback riding for our anniversary. 7th year is leather and copper. I figured a leather saddle fit the bill.

5. I'm working on giving up sugar-added sugar. It's in EVERYTHING! I've been eating my weight in fruit.

6. Sophia is POTTY TRAINED. She decided she wanted us to put her potty seat in the attic and save it for Emma to use. We haven't had an accident in weeks. Knock on wood.

7. Emma is drooling like crazy and sometimes looks like a rabid dog with all the spit bubbles around her mouth and chin. I believe some chompers maybe making an appearance soon.

8. Can't wait for our annual beach vacation to Hilton Head with the parents, sisters, brother and his family. It's gonna rock.

9. Going to the doctor this Friday to have my gall bladder checked out. (See what happened last year at this time.) I'm fairly confident they will advise me to have it removed. I'm worrying how this is going to effect nursing.

Figuring it out

We are having some of Phillip's former students over for a cookout tonight and I should be helping to get a few last minute things done. But, the girls are BOTH napping so the work is going to have to wait while I write.

I've spent the last week looking deep inside myself and trying to unlock where my negative energy is coming from and how I'm going to go about fixing it. I know it will be a long journey but I'm on the trail at least. I have started journaling again. Bought a cheap made from recycled paper and sugar cane notebook and a great bright blue pen to write with. You have to have a fun pen! I went grocery shopping today and bought some wholesome organic eggs, milk, strawberries, apples and whole wheat pitas and Wasa. You are what you eat. And I know my stomach is YELLING at me to change my ways.

And I started to pray. I was raised Catholic and self-swapped to Episcopalian when Phillip and I met. We are practicing Episcopalian's and go to church regularly but I always feel distracted there because the kids can't sit still and really listen. So I haven't felt like I've really prayed in a while. Under the beating hot water of the shower while both girls and husband were occupied I found a quiet space that was all mine. I sent a prayer to God.

I'm looking forward to this sort of reinvention of myself. It feels like a challenge and a journey well worth the time and expense.

My Chakra Is Out of Balance

I don't really know what it means to have my chakra out of balance but that is the best way I can describe what I have been thinking and feeling lately. I feel like I'm going in many different directions while none of them make sense. I feel like I'm maintaining the status quo as a woman, wife, mother, sister, daughter, friend. I'm not depressed just not the me I want to be right now.

When I was a teenager I can remember on many occasions bursting into the room where my mom was to tell her the most exciting thing ever or share something I had learned at school or just laugh about the most insignificant thing ever. She would often tell me to always maintain that zest for life and light hearted but deeply connected spirit.

One time after walking home from school in middle school I had to go to the bathroom so bad. The door to the house was locked. Mom came to answer my knock and as I did the potty dance on the front porch indicating how bad I needed to go Mom just kept mimicking me and jokingly indicate she couldn't open the door. Well after a few moments of this...I just couldn't wait anymore. I wet my pants on the front porch. A 14-year old girl peed her pants. Publicly. Most daughters would NEVER SPEAK TO THEIR MOTHER AGAIN! Me? I laughed. We laughed. Hysterically. Mom didn't realize just how bad I needed to go to the bathroom.

I want to experience this all again. Well I can skip public urination but its the feeling of those moments-not caring about being seen. The endorphins rushing my body from laughing so hard. I don't laugh nearly as much as I used to. I don't see or feel the little things in life as I once did. I don't dance in the rain and splash in the puddles. I'm not pushing myself mentally, physically, or spiritually and it is wearing me down.

I have such a strong desire to be a better person-a better mother to my two beautiful daughters, a better wife to my husband, a better sister and daughter to my family, and a better friend to my friends. Hell, I even want to be a better person to complete strangers!

As I sort all of this out my sister has turned me on to an incredible blog, Smile With Your Heart. (How great is that?!?) I have been reading her most recent "challenge" entries and find myself nearly brimming over with tears each time I read it. She is so insightful, intuitive, inspirational, rational and brilliant. Reading her blog has helped me to start deeply reflecting on many of my layers that I want to fix, heal, strengthen. I tear up thinking of the things I know I can achieve and the excitement of the journey I must embark on to get there.

I think one of the reasons I find myself fantasizing about my next pregnancy and birth so much is because of the journey it takes to get there. For me pregnancy is the ultimate journey. Like hiking a trail that you haven't been able to conquer before. The birth is reaching the summit. Emma's birth was remarkable for me because of how different it was from Sophia's birth. I had so much freedom and personal control. And so much excitement and exhilaration. It was also a time of great inner peace and spiritual connection to not only Emma but Sophia, Phillip, and my family. What I'm lacking in life now is that risk and reward. I can't give birth to a baby everyday-so now I need to seek that challenge and excitement in other ways.

I may decide to start a new blog to report on my journey but for now I'll just use this one. "Adventures with Doodle" is part of the journey after all!

What do you do to stay inspired and motivated?

Back to work

So I survived my first week back to work. I didn't realize how much I had disconnected from work and connected to being a new mom again. I forgot several of my passwords for sites and programs that I use everyday! I even had to have our network administrator reset my network password - that also controls our email. Now I'm back on track.

I'm up at 4:30am to nurse and pump and get everything ready for my day. Some days this is easier than others. Emma had been doing GREAT sleeping (knock on wood, cross your fingers, do whatever you do to keep my good fortune coming) through the night. She was sleeping 8 or 9 pm to 4, 5, or 6 am. That is very manageable. And then the other shoe dropped. Most of the week she would wake at midnight, 1 or 2am...just to keep things interesting. We'll see if this pattern continues this week.

The girls were home last week with our super attentive, organized, Betty Crocker babysitter. This week and the remainder of the summer they get Papacare! It is taking them all to get a little used to the routine. I called home yesterday to see how it was going and Emma was crying and Sophia was clamoring for Phillip's attention. He seemed a little stressed out be managed to get things under control. I received a phone call when I was less than a mile from home with a stern warning to be very quiet when I came in...two babies were sleeping on the floor. Emma was in here chair and Sophia was indeed napping on the floor on her blankets. At 4pm....You win some you loose some.

I would rather be home with my girls but that's not an option for now. So I'll just keep on keeping on and rush home to my squishy babies.

Rebellion

I didn't think our kids started rebelling against us until they were at least 12 but apparently my daughter has decided 3 is a good age to start.

I thought we were POTTY TRAINED! Happy Dance! Down with Pull-Ups! Hail the Potty!

That was until yesterday...when she pissed her pants 5, FIVE, V, times! I say "pissed" because it wasn't accidental. It was on purpose and made me steaming mad.

I was willing to forgive the first "accident" that happened at daycare. She had gone potty before we left the house. Maybe she just didn't get it all out. She wet her pants right before she and Miss Ellen adventured out for the day. She didn't have any extra undies so they put her in a pull-up. I left the pull-up on for her "nap" which was more like quiet time in her room doing everything but napping. That included soaking the pull-up. Strike two.

After a jaunt through the sprinkler I got her dressed. While I was nursing Emma she yells from the bathroom "Mama, I need help." The bathmat, shorts, and undies are soaked. Strike three. New shorts and undies.

Maybe two hours later another cry for help from the bathroom. Puddle on the floor. Soaked shorts and undies. Strike four. This time I have to take Emma out of the baby carrier on my chest, take a pause from making dinner and mop the floor.

While doing laundry-ya know, all the soaking wet, pee smelling clothes- my husband goes into the play/work/exercise room and asks "did you spill water on the steps?" asking Sophie and I and no one in particular at the same time. No. Not that I know of. Meanwhile Sophia is standing on the steps below the landing and gleefully looks up at him and says "No, I peed my pants." Awesome. The husband was standing in a puddle of pee. Swell. Strike five.

She wasn't remorseful. She wasn't embarrassed. She wasn't mad. She didn't even make an effort to get to the bathroom.

I think she is trying to get attention because I have been spending a little more time with Emma the past few days. I've been nursing her more often as I think she is going through her 12 week growth spurt.

Heaven help me if Sophia has wet the bed over night.

The difficult thing about this is teaching the lesson. Do we punish her? Do we put her in Pull-ups for a few days? Do I do what she wants-give her more attention?

Nursing

One of the things I like most about being a mother is nursing my baby. I love the closeness, the warmth, the connection, the ultimate power that I create the food that nourishes my baby.

I love the haphazard, carefree, soft caress of Emma's tiny hand on my breast while she nurses. It's as if she is saying "I love you mama and thanks for making food for me" as she runs her hand back and forth across my bare breast.

As I prepare to go back to work I have found myself starting to fret over my milk supply and miss this constant need she and I both have. I have already noticed a decrease in the amount I am able to pump after a nursing session. I've been vigilant about my water intake and have started fenugreek supplements. And pumping 3-4 times a day between sessions.

My sister and I are training for the Columbus 1/2 marathon in October. Let me rephrase that, she is actively training, I keep debating it in my head. I did my first postpartum work out yesterday. I'm concerned that if I start running big time-like enough to actually commit to the marathon that my milk supply is going to tank.

So what is your advice for keeping up a good milk supply, going back to work, and exercise?

Maternity leave and transitions

This is my last week of maternity leave. As always, it has gone by way to fast. The days have been filled with a baby and toddler, lots of visitors, trips to Ohio and North Carolina, learning the balancing act, photos, snuggles, bubbles and sidewalk chalk, trips to the park and lots of love.

I hate this week because I have to face the fact that I am a full-time working mom. I wish our family/work/life situation allowed us to afford being a SAHM or WAHM but right now it doesn't it.

I sent Sophia to daycare for the full day today so Emma and I could hang out just the two of us. I wanted to spend the whole day just nursing her and staring at her. We did a lot of that but because she is pretty content just to be fed I had to do a lot of other household chores today too. Currently she is sound asleep in her swing sucking on her fingers and just generally being an angel. The love I have for my two girls overwhelms me sometimes.

The love I have for them breaks my heart that I have to leave them each day and go to work. But I realize that because of this love I MUST work.

I'm also having a difficult time with our transition for Sophia's daycare next year. She will be going to full day preschool where my husband works because they offer full tuition remission for the first child. This will save us a lot of money. Emma will go to the daycare Sophia is currently attending. I have struggled with the fact that Sophia will be in her fourth care/learning environment in three years. That she will be with new kids again and leaving her old friends behind at the daycare. That she won't be with her little sister during the day. That her little sister will be dropped off first and I fear she will be like "hey, why am I not going with her?" Sophia LOVES Miss Jackie and Miss Ellen so much!

We have the summer ahead of us and my husband will be with the girls nearly everyday but come fall I'm just not ready for the changes. Everyone keeps telling me that it is good for Sophie to be so flexible and adaptable but I'm having problems with it.

Well I guess I better go stare at Emma for a bit before we have to get Sophia. I'll enjoy the heck out of these next few days.

In the eyes of a toddler

There are a few things I'm not proud of as a parent. I realize now more than ever that our kids really are sponges. And while still a little humorous it's not really that cute out of the mouth of a three year old.

I swear. I've cleaned up my potty mouth a lot and try very hard not to let the s word or heaven forbid the f word come flying out of my mouth. But crap and dammit? Those are harder to hold back. Spill something? Crap. Forget something? Crap? Toddler driving you nuts-0 and do something she should be doing? Dammit!

And then said toddler drops her favorite toy or can't get her pants on and you hear in the cute little voice a crap or dammit? Well dam nit! She shouldn't be saying those words. Crap. Now I need to be more vigilant about what I'm saying.
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Last week my sweet little Sophie peed in the bushes. She came bounding into the house with my husband and our freshly grilled dinner and proudly stated "I peed in the bushes mama."

You did what?

I looked at the husband and inquired.

"Well I knew we wouldn't have made it to the bathroom in time. Don't you want your daughter to learn how to pee outside?"

Yes, but in the appropriate situation...like camping!

I hope this doesn't start a trend.
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And then there are moments that I'm not ashamed to admit.

Sophia is learning the art of sharing. She just needs a little better judgment. Last week while munching some Goldfish she realized Dolly's (the dog) bowl was empty. In went the Goldfish! About 1/2 a bag worth. I commended her for sharing but also explained that sharing her snack, and it such a large quantity, was actually wasteful because Dolly doesn't need to eat that kid of food.
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Sophia's language skills continue to astound me. Each passing week she seems be have become more articulate, better able to express whole sentences, and understand new concepts. Some of my favorite things she has been saying lately:

"I think that is a perfect idea." This has been uttered about getting dressed, having a snack, or other normal, mundane activities.

"I think so." Said when asked questions like "Would you like butter on your corn?" or "Did you wash your hands?"

"Orange is my favorite color! What is your favorite color mama?"

Pumping

The one thing I don't really enjoy about breastfeeding is pumping. It's just tedious, time consuming, and blah. But a necessity-especially as a working mom. So you gotta do what you gotta do.

This morning since Emma slept through the night (YEAH!!!) I was up at 5:30am, nursed, settled her down and pumped. Since Phillip was up getting ready for work we were in the kitchen chatting.

As the pumped hummed in the background he made sounds like the electric beats at a dance club. ksssk ksssk ksssk ksssk-that's what he hears in the motor of the pump.

Sometimes I hear wacko, wacko, wacko, wacko, over and over and over again.

What does your pump say to you?

And since I was up early and pumping he came to my rescue as my coffee got cold on the counter.

It may not be the most fun thing in the world but I guess it could be worse without a sense of humor.

Birth

You would think that 10 weeks after giving birth to Emma I would be over it. On to other things like her cute giggles, smiles, interactions between her and her big sister. But I'm not. I think about her birth nearly everyday. The contractions, the one fleeting moment of doubt, the warmth of the water in the birth pool, feeling her crown and the "ring of fire" and then her alive, alert, tiny body on my chest. I don't just think about her birth, I fantasize about it.

I fantasize about my next birth. My next pregnancy. The next time I will be able to feel that deeply intimate connection between me and my baby when they pass into this outer world.

When I had Sophia I remember saying and thinking the rest of our kids would be adopted because I wasn't going through that again-and I didn't really have that difficult labor and delivery. But now to know what a truly powerful birth can be like is a complete mind shift. I feel more empowered as a mother, a woman, a bearer of children than I ever could have thought possible.

But before you think I've really lost my marbles I can assure you we won't be trying to get pregnant for a few more years. We are enjoying being parents of a toddler and a squishy and adorable infant. For a few more years I will live vicariously through many friends that currently expecting. But I do want to share this poem to all mothers-regardless if they are newly pregnant, on the verge of welcoming their little one, or are done having babies. The message is unmistakable.

I found this on the Empowering Birth Blog.

Invitation to Birthing From Within Mothers

With thanks to Oriah Mountain Dreamer for inspiration

It doesn't interest me how many prenatal books you've read,

I want to know if you hear your child whisper to you

when you lie awake at night.

It doesn't interest me who you are

or where you came from,

I want to know if your authentic mother warrior will awaken

when you birth your baby with all that you have.

It doesn't interest me if you have a birth plan

or where you plan to give birth.

I want to know that you will meet your birth

with an open mind and open heart.

I want to know if you can fully embrace the path

you must journey

to birth yourself as a mother.

It doesn’t interest me if you birth in silence

or as a lioness roars.

I want to know if you are willing to do

whatever it takes to birth your baby,

regardless of how you look,

how you sound,

or what others may think.

I want to know if you are willing to journey

to your depths and through the unknown.

It doesn't interest me how many stitches you get,

I want to know how you are moving in your body.

I want to know if you can take each movement

of your achy dripping body

and know that it has done a marvelous, miraculous thing.

It doesn't matter to me how you feed your baby.

I want to know if you are willing

to nurture your baby

from the depths of your soul and with

unconditional love.

I want to know if in the dark of night,

you can raise your tired bones and weary spirit

and do what needs to be done to care for your children

I want to know if you are willing to give up

your judges and ideals of a perfect parent

and surrender to your heart

and belly

to love your baby until you ache.

This work was compiled and edited by Juji Woodring with contributions from Alejandrina in AZ, Lia from South Africa, Alisa from Texas, Charlene, and Tamara D.

Not Baby Related: Books

My husband, a VERY well read man, always gets on my case for a)the dribble I read and b) not having read "the classics." He gripes that I must not have received with a good education in Ohio's public schools-I beg to differ-we just read different books than they did in North Carolina.

I have read some- Johnny Tremain, To Kill a Mocking Bird, The Crucible, The Great Gatsby, Red Badge of Courage, 1984, Fahrenheit 451, etc. But there are many pages I have left unturned - Huck Finn, Lolita, Lord of the Flies, Brave New World, The Grapes of Wrath, etc.

Every summer when I happen into Barnes and Noble and see their "Summer Reading" tables filled with classics I vow that I'm going to start reading what I apparently should have read about 15 years ago. And I never open a single cover.

So where do I begin? If you were my high school English teacher what would you have on my summer reading list? What contemporary books need to be added to the list?

This summer I'm going to finally do my summer reading. And conveniently, because my husband LOVES books I know we have many of these classics sitting on the many bookshelves in our home.

Can't wait to read your recommendations.

Updates

No thought provoking post today just general updates on the kiddos!

Sophia is 99.5% potty trained! Break out the champagne! She has only had accidents 2 of the past 25 days and one of those was because she was having too much fun playing! She has been wearing undies to bed and has woken up dry 11 out of 12 days since we transitioned out of the pull ups! She has also been successful in pooping on the potty and has been more regular too! So weird that my measure as a successful mom is my daughter's bathroom habits!

Sharing a room with Emma continues to go well. I put Emma down shortly after Sophia went to bed on Sunday night. Sophia wanted to look at her balloon but was less than happy when after looking at it I told her she couldn't keep it in her bed because it wasn't safe. A fit ensued. Emma slept right through Sophie's crying and screaming. Amazing.

Emma is two months today! We don't have our 2 month appointment until later this month so I'll have to update on her growth then. She took her first 'real' nap yesterday! She slept for 2 hours and 20 minutes in her crib. It was great.

We are headed to Ohio soon for my dad's retirement party. I'm looking forward to all of my siblings and extended family meeting Emma. Being so spread out across the country it makes me sad that they usually don't get to meet the wee ones until they are not so wee anymore so this is great timing and it will be fun to be among family for the second time in six months!

Mother's Day

I'm still not used to this holiday. This will be my third "Mother's Day" and I don't know what to feel. Isn't everyday Mother's Day? We tend to our children. Give them our love and affection-hope they reciprocate it!

Mother's Day to me is not a holiday in May but the day my children were born. The most selfless act of love was enduring the pains of labor and feeling them descend from the womb through my body and into the world. The joy and excitement and love that makes your heart grow three sizes-that is the ultimate Mother's Day for me.

I feel blessed to have been able to share this intimate experience with my Mom twice now. She was by my side when Sophia was born. Rubbing my back, putting cool compresses on my forehead, wasn't offended when I told her to stop touching me when I was in the final stage of labor, and although she swore she was going to stay "north" during the birth she was their encouraging me and cheering me on during the hour and a half of pushing-just like she was their on the sidelines of a soccer game telling me to run!

And again just two months ago Mom was in my bedroom fearlessly watching me give birth to our second daughter in a pool of water. Something she was skeptical about but knew it was what I wanted and is now a "convert."

These moments are what make me feel like a mother. And these are the moments I choose to reflect upon today. Not chocolate or shiny things or the desire to be left alone but the moment I became a mother and my mother became a grandmother yet again. Perpetuating what motherhood is all about. And one day I hope I can share the experience of becoming a mother with my girls when they are ready to have children of their own.

Happy Mother's Day!

Sisters, Sisters....

"There were never more devoted sisters..."

Eight weeks into their sibling-hood and they still like each other! Well Emma doesn't really have a choice right now but Sophia does!

I was really expecting some "Mama put her back!" or "Can't she go away now?" But Sophia has really been nothing but enamored with Emma since she arrived. She just LOVES Emma. She is quick to get a pacifier or oversee a diaper change. She has frequently let Emma 'borrow' her green blanket and Smokey Bear. And she loving test drives all of the soft, squishy stuffed animals Emma has received as gifts to make sure they are worthy of her little sister's love.

The other thing Sophia is sharing with her little sister? Her bedroom.

I finally started putting Emma to bed in her crib about two weeks ago. This has gone better than expected but started out rough. The first night I put her in her crib I had the monitor on and couldn't sleep worth a darn. I couldn't decipher Sophia's noises from Emma's noises. I slept with my head in a precarious angle to keep an ear toward the monitor. I think Emma slept for about three hours before I retrieved her for nursing. I think she could have slept longer but because I couldn't sleep I mistook her grunts and moans as a feeding cue. The next night was better but I still prematurely got her from bed. I carried her into our room to nurse but upon laying her down in the bed she slept for three more hours!

Sophia doesn't really seemed to be bothered by Emma's cries or little grunts when sleeping. When I go in the room at night to get Emma sometimes Sophia will sit up in bed and look at us but then goes right back to sleep. Other times she continues to sleep right through. I was worried that she would wake up each time and want to join us in bed. Luckily for all of us, this is not the case.

The other thing that has amazed me about these two small creatures sharing a room and space in general is their absolute oblivion to one another. They both seem to tune out each other's cries, tantrums, fits, etc. It's like the other doesn't exist. They just go about their business without a care in the world. Sophia often is right in Emma's face when she is crying and only tries to console her little sister "It's okay Emma, it's okay." And then she'll try to soothe her with a pacifier! Emma apparently completely blocks out Sophia's tantrums as if she can hear nothing.

"We think and we act as one
Those who've seen us
Know that not a thing could come between us"

Grumpies and laughter

Today started out pretty good. Sophie has started coming out of her room in the morning on her own. This is a new thing as of last week. Until then she had waited for Phillip or I to come and get her up. It was heaven! Now she is being a bit more independent and rousing on her own. She came bounding out of her room and asked "What you watching mama?"

Well I was watching the Royal Wedding while nursing Emma and told Sophie I was watching a wedding of a real Prince and Princess. When she turned three her magic "princess" button must have been activated because she talks Princess all the time now. She snuggled on the couch with us and watched in sheer amazement.

While I was whipping up some scones as a nod to the royal couple she snuggled with her blankets on the floor and was just plain cute!


Then mid-morning came around and my sweet little girl turned into a cranky beast.

We got dressed to go to the grocery store-she wanted to wear a tank top in 60 degree weather. She wanted to watch a movie on the computer and argued with me about my need to check my bank account and dig up some online coupons. She wouldn't let Aunt Mimi get her in the car. Her sunglasses weren't sitting on her face right. She told me the music in the car was too loud. I told her to close her ears! Meg looked at me and said "you are so Mom's daughter!" Something obviously crawled up her pants and stayed there.

The grocery trip was hit or miss with her attitude but when I couldn't (read wouldn't) find her fresh mozzerella cheese to eat on the way home she was less than thrilled with the Goldfish crackers.

We got home and she dutifully helped unload and put away the groceries. She loves this part of the trip. She was then eating a snack of a pita pocket as I sat down to nurse Emma. I had just gotten Emma to latch on when Sophie was "sitting" on the couch. She thinks the couch is a jungle gym these days. Before I knew what was happening I heard the thud of her head hitting the floor behind the couch. This certainly wasn't funny at the time but when Meg and I recalled the incident for Phillip 12 hours later we could hardly stop laughing.

I yelled for Meg to "grab the baby!" She came running in the living room unable to see where Sophie was or what to do. She told me she nearly had a heart attack when I yelled for her and "threw a knife in the kitchen" as she came barreling into the room to see what happened. Meanwhile the thud of Sophie's head on the floor startled Emma so much she flew off my breast. I thrust Emma into Meg's arms to rescue Sophie. I recall telling her "I'm going to hug you now and make sure you are okay but I'm going to yell at you in a minute because the couch isn't a jungle gym!" Sophie is fine.

Several hours later after Miss Cantankerous wouldn't nap she had finally settled down. I was paying bills, Meg was tending to Emma, and we thought Sophie was quietly playing in her room. I wasn't going to disturb a quiet child because it was the first peace we had had nearly all day. Meg got up to use that bathroom and the next thing I knew she was doubled over laughing.

I quickly grabbed my camera then went to see what was so funny. I guess sometimes when the kids are too quiet you should check on them!


Sophie was in the bathroom. She had successfully used the potty all by herself but then decided to stay sans pants and stand on the toilet. She had the shutters open and was showing the "world" her cash and prizes. Good goodness we don't really have a lot of traffic on our street!

So that was how our day went. Some grumpies, some laughter, and some cuteness.

Dental Hygiene

When I was younger I wanted to be a dental hygienist. At my yearly check ups I would sit in the chair and open my mouth so wide they would actually have to tell me to close my mouth a bit so they could clean my teeth. I loved going to the dentist and still don't mind it. I'd like to think that I had good oral health even as a toddler. Apparently this is something you can not pass down like hair color or freckles.

Getting Sophia to brush her teeth is such a daunting task. She loves her tooth brush and sweet tasting toothpaste but is completely lost on the concept of brushing. She refuses to let me help. I have explained that we need to brush all of our teeth, front, back, top, bottom. I have tried brushing my teeth with her so she understands better how to do it and how long it takes. We have watched videos and animations on YouTube. She still only brushes for 5 seconds and really is just sucking the toothpaste off the brush.

I don't really want her to have to endure fillings at her first dentist visit. I've tried explaining the importance of good brushing habits but none of it seems to sink in.

How have you taught your toddler healthy brushing habits?

After two kids adding more is a breeze

I now understand why so many parents of three or more kids say that after having two kids you can handle anything!

It is amazing how much juggling you have to do to get everything done. My mornings seem to be a guessing game of who is going to cooperate with me, who is going to cry, can I get a shower in, will I be able to have breakfast?

It look forward to Monday - Wednesday when Sophie goes to preschool for a little down time and some one-on-one time with Emma but it always seems rushed or filled with quick errands. So a lot of it is in the car out of the car with Emma. Then once home feeding again and trying to get the girls down for a nap.

Each day is a see-saw of in the car out of the car, entertain one, feed the other. Up down, in out.

Adding another kid to the mix will add another layer of organized chaos but by then I'll have the whirlwind figured out and Sophie will really be able to help with her younger siblings.

And since K from Two Adults, One Brown Baby requested it....here are some photos of the darlings.

What I've learned in a month

Sunday was Emma's one month "birthday." Today we had her one month well baby check up. I've learned a lot in the past month.

Emma does not like a dirty diaper. She prefers to be clean and dry at all times. I guess I can't blame her.

Emma does not like the "bucket" or car seat as most refer to it.

Emma does not really like the swing or baby papasan chair but slowly warming up to them.

Emma gets told "hold on a minute love bun!" a lot as I have to tend to Sophia or some other household something or other.

Emma loves to be held. I think she prefers the warmth of my body and sound of my heart and breath. The first three months really are like the fourth trimester!

I've learned that children are a lot like snowflakes-no two are alike.

Emma weighed in at 8 lbs. this morning and 22.5 inches long. I can't really believe that she has grown 2 inches since birth but only gained 6 ounces. But her 0-3month clothing is actually starting to fit.