Saturday, January 29, 2011


Took this idea from a fellow blogger. Loved it so much I thought I'd do it here too. Feel free to leave your own responses in the comments.

Reading: The Thinking Woman's Guide to a Better Birth by Henci Goer and just picked up Worst Case by James Patterson at the library...I don't think I've read that one yet!

Looking forward to: Sleeping on my stomach again

Stressing about: How the hell we are actually going to afford two kids

Craving: A BIG glass of cold wine

Wanting: A date night or afternoon or 30 minutes with the husband (keeping this from K's original post!)

Wearing: Anything that fits. Can I just live in yoga pants for the rest of my days?

Sick of: getting up every two hours throughout the night to pee.

Learning: How to have a baby in the water!

Suffering from: Not enough time

Struggling with: How an infant and toddler are going to share a room!

Hoping to: Have Sophia potty trained (and NOT reverse) by the time Emma arrives

Excited for: uhhhh Hello! I'm having a baby!

Relieved by: coworkers/friends that threw a "sprinkle" for me and now I'm stocked up on some of the basics

Splurging on: nothing. pinching pennies these days..but Sophie and I did share a small chocolate milk shake at Chick-Fil-A today!

Thursday, January 27, 2011


Sophia's choice of toys and play has always been the more creative, hands on, manipulative toys. Trucks, fire engines, play-doh, blocks, farm toys. She has three dolls one of which she just liked to take it's clothes off-not really play with. That was until about two weeks ago.

The weekend my girlfriends came for a visit and helped clean out the closet and organize the baby stuff a door was opened. Not only can we find stuff now but some of the necessary baby stuff is visible-like the swing.

Sophie started carrying around one of the baby dolls, which she insisted be wrapped up like a burrito, and puts the baby in the swing every day. Every morning the swing makes it's way to the kitchen with baby and and night the swing goes back to the bedroom so she and baby can sleep.

Baby has come with us to church and the grocery store. I hold the baby as if it were real. If the baby falls we give it kisses. Her other baby is now sporting a size 1 diaper because I had to physically demonstrate that Sophie wouldn't fit in the diaper!

I guess this is a good thing as we approach Emma's birth day. Sophia has a baby to care for and so will I.

Tuesday, January 25, 2011

Toddler Tuesday

A few weeks ago we took Sophie to get her haircut, her FIRST haircut. She was just shy of 2 years and 9 months old. I felt a little bad getting her locks trimmed off since it took us nearly 3 years to accumulate the amount of hair she has but her bangs were in her eyes and she was looking a little scraggly. So off to Ms. Lee's barbershop where Phillip gets his hair cut and what a world of difference. I'm glad Ms. Lee knows how to cut hair in a fashion other than just a high and tight!Our little ragamuffin.
First trim!
The Phillip smirk.
Almost done.
Look how pretty!

Monday, January 24, 2011


I am 34 weeks pregnant today. As we approach "due date" more and more people have inquired about the birth of our daughter. To those who don't know I'm planning a home birth in the water they are surprised and inquisitive, for the people who already know of this plan they just have questions about the hows, whys and wheres. So here are some of the details.

I am planning a home birth in the water. My midwife will start seeing me at home at week 36.

Supplies: I ordered a birth kit online through my midwife. It includes the "piddle pads" used at the hospital, that blue mucous suker outtie thing, a paper measuring tape, the ohhh so sexy mesh underwear, a cord clamp and my favorite items 2 bendy straws (I don't think I want to know what those are for!) and a bunch of other items that the midwife includes in her personalized kit. It arrived last week and waiting to join the rest of the supplies.

Can I use my bathtub? Well I could, it's deep enough but not wide enough and the bathroom as a whole isn't big enough to accommodate Phillip, me, the midwife and birth assistant. So we are renting a tub. You can buy what are essentially kiddie pools but they can't take hot water. The next step up are more durable kiddie pools that you can put hot water in and cover with a sleeping bag or quilt until ready to use to maintain the water temperature. We have chosen to go with the next higher grade tub that plugs in and has a heater to keep the water warm. It is 5' in diameter, 24" high and rents for $250.

Where is the hospital? In case of the need to be transferred the hospital is literally around the corner. I clocked it on the way home tonight and it is 1/2 a mile from our driveway. The firehouse is across the street. I'm not worried about needing their services or being caught in a precarious situation that hampers us from getting there quickly.

Where will Sophia be during all of this? I have no problem with Sophie witnessing this miracle of birth, Phillip is a bit more hesitant. So our rough plan is that if I am in labor during daycare hours she'll be there. If it's the middle of the night, we'll let her sleep. If it is a weekend she can hopefully play with the neighbor's kids for a bit or my mom, sister, or good friend can occupy her or take her somewhere else for a bit. The midwife suggested if she is around while I'm in labor and she is okay with it, not stressed, not causing me stress let it ride. Some kids get freaked out, some kids are cool with it. We'll just play it by ear.

Won't she hear you? I confirmed with Phillip that when giving birth to Sophie, I never screamed or moaned in agony. I think this time around may be even less vocal. We'll see.

Where will Dolly (the beagle) be during all of this? Probably where she is most all of the time, day or night. Asleep, on the couch.

Do you actually give birth to the baby in the water? Yes, if I want. The water is great for labor-it's relaxing, calming, and can help ease some of the pain associated with labor. Additionally, you can actually birth the baby directly into the water. Since the baby is still breathing via umbilical cord it doesn't need the air right away to breathe. So you can let the baby gently come through the water and then out of the water before it will take it's first breath.

What questions do you have about home birth or water birth?

Thursday, January 06, 2011


It was like a switch turned on and I can't make any sense of it.

Yesterday, after a two hour commute home, I walked in the house to a husband starting dinner and an adorable toddler who was excited and happy to see me. That's what I needed. Less than ten minutes later, that all changed.

The play by play:
Went to the bathroom. "I come wif you mama." Okay, I can handle that.
Went to the bedroom for my ponytail holder and slippers. Sophie followed.
While sitting on the bed putting on the slippers she noticed Phillip's lip balm and asked if she should bring it to him. I said that would be very nice (regardless if he needed it or not.)
Next thing I hear is a crying kiddo coming back to the bedroom telling me she threw the lip balm in the kitchen. I don't even think Phillip was in the kitchen at the time.

Sophie then goes bizurk! She is crying because she threw the lip balm, I ask her why she is getting so upset and that just made things worse. She is just whaling and screaming and crying for no rational reason. I sit on the bed again to try and talk to her, she yells at me not to sit down. I'm trying to put my hair back and she yells at me not to do that. By now Phillip has come back to see what is going on and try to help. He is met by a Sophie monster who wants nothing to do with him and wants him out of the room.

She was unconsoleable and uncontrolable. And by this point I'm in tears and completely perplexed by her behavior. Phillip sequesters her to her room until she can calm down.

In my head, tantrums are cause and effect. The child doesn't get her way= throws a fit. Phillip kept trying to explain to me that tantrums are a childs way of getting attention. I refuted this because she was GETTING attention. She was with me, helping me, hell, she went potty with me. How much more attention does she need?!?

After two rounds with Phillip in the bedroom and more tears than we can count she finally came out, apologized, brought me a kleenex. And we ate dinner.

I just want an explanation.

Monday, January 03, 2011


On December 30 I met with a midwife. I walked out of the appointment feeling excited, giddy, and anxious to have this next the comforts of my own home.

I met with her for an hour and a half. Discussing the birth of Sophia, my miscarriage, the LEEP procedure I had to remove potentially cancerous cells, and this pregnancy. It was so rewarding to have a conversation about me, my body, my gynecological health. It wasn't the standard, check-in, pee in a cup, get weighed, wait 20 minutes for the doctor to arrive in the cold, sterile, unattractive room. I sat on the couch, drinking water, openly discussing the things important to me; my family and having another baby.

A little background: I miscarried in October 2009 at about 5 or 6 weeks. I knew I needed the LEEP procedure but couldn't right away because I had miscarried. Then the window for the procedure opened up again. Within 6 weeks I went from feeling elated about being pregnant to devastated and then concerned I wouldn't get pregnant again. One complication from the LEEP is the possibility of having your cervix open prematurely when pregnant and they need to stitch you together to prevent pre-term labor. Oh fun.

So, when I found out I was pregnant again I returned to the OBGYN. I had additional ultrasounds done because we couldn't hear a heartbeat, worried about miscarriage again, then had to have internal ultrasounds to measure and asses my cervix. I had 2 week appointments between weeks 14-22 because if the cervix is going to open, that's the window of opportunity.

I felt trapped. Trapped by the "experts" needing to run tests to make sure everything was going accordingly and not causing issues. I have one doctor at the practice that I really like and almost felt like I would be letting her down if I left.

But now, after meeting the two midwives and speaking at length with one of them and the staff, I know I have made the right decision. I'm looking forward to welcoming this child into the world via the water, resting in my own bed, being surrounded by familar people and things and having Sophia be there to welcome her sister into our family.

At the end of the appointment, the midwife hugged me. Not many doctors do that!