On December 30 I met with a midwife. I walked out of the appointment feeling excited, giddy, and anxious to have this next baby...in the comforts of my own home.
I met with her for an hour and a half. Discussing the birth of Sophia, my miscarriage, the LEEP procedure I had to remove potentially cancerous cells, and this pregnancy. It was so rewarding to have a conversation about me, my body, my gynecological health. It wasn't the standard, check-in, pee in a cup, get weighed, wait 20 minutes for the doctor to arrive in the cold, sterile, unattractive room. I sat on the couch, drinking water, openly discussing the things important to me; my family and having another baby.
A little background: I miscarried in October 2009 at about 5 or 6 weeks. I knew I needed the LEEP procedure but couldn't right away because I had miscarried. Then the window for the procedure opened up again. Within 6 weeks I went from feeling elated about being pregnant to devastated and then concerned I wouldn't get pregnant again. One complication from the LEEP is the possibility of having your cervix open prematurely when pregnant and they need to stitch you together to prevent pre-term labor. Oh fun.
So, when I found out I was pregnant again I returned to the OBGYN. I had additional ultrasounds done because we couldn't hear a heartbeat, worried about miscarriage again, then had to have internal ultrasounds to measure and asses my cervix. I had 2 week appointments between weeks 14-22 because if the cervix is going to open, that's the window of opportunity.
I felt trapped. Trapped by the "experts" needing to run tests to make sure everything was going accordingly and not causing issues. I have one doctor at the practice that I really like and almost felt like I would be letting her down if I left.
But now, after meeting the two midwives and speaking at length with one of them and the staff, I know I have made the right decision. I'm looking forward to welcoming this child into the world via the water, resting in my own bed, being surrounded by familar people and things and having Sophia be there to welcome her sister into our family.
At the end of the appointment, the midwife hugged me. Not many doctors do that!