I can remember babysitting some kids or being in the grocery store and seeing the same thing-toddlers dressed as their alter ego-a fairy or batman-well after Halloween had past. Donning their spiderman costume or princess dress everyday, all day, all the time. It would be March and here comes Batman decked out head to toe. I'm sure some parents fought this with their unwilling toddler. Begging him to put on regular play clothes but then just giving in day after day after day. What's the harm anyway? At least they are dressed and happy.
Sophia is a bit like this right now. She has been refusing to sleep in her bed. She has a sleeping bag that has made appearances for nap-time and vacation and movie nights. Sometimes she sleeps in the sleeping bag in the bed but as of late she just wants to sleep on the floor.
At first we argued with her that she needs to sleep in her bed (for a good night of sleep), that we paid good money for her beautiful bed, that she can't sleep on the floor because we said so. Being the one who usually gives in I tried to hold the line and not overstep Phillip's previously argued arguments but then I thought, who cares?!? as long as she sleeps, in her room.
So for about a week now we have tucked her in on the floor. I can't figure out if her bed is getting to small-the next enlargement is out to a full size bed and we just don't have the room since the girls share a room. Or if there is an aversion to the barnyard sheets currently on the mattress, or if it's just a toddler quirk and she wants to sleep on the floor!
I'm sure in the coming weeks of holiday travel all fascination with the sleeping bag will wane and she will be trying to kick me out of my bed and want to sleep there instead.
Showing posts with label sleep. Show all posts
Showing posts with label sleep. Show all posts
Sunday, November 20, 2011
Sunday, August 07, 2011
The never ending sleep issue
A co-worker of mine gave birth to her first son one day before I gave birth to Emma. A few weeks ago she emailed several of the new moms at work to see if they had any advice for working with her son to establish a strong sleep pattern. The sleepless nights and crying were taking a toll on her. I recalled how many times I've asked for advice on the subject and the many sleep issues we have had. I forwarded her query onto another co-worker who's son is now about 14 months old. I remember her coming to work exhausted because her son just wouldn't sleep at normal hours. He seemed to keep her up constantly through the firs year. I liked her advice so much I asked if I could share it here. It seems we will always struggle with the topic of sleep so why not offer another perspective! It also helps to realize we really are all in this together!
Here is the original email:
"Jake is now 4 months + 9 days and is still waking up every 3 hrs (if not less) in the night. Not all wakings are hunger-based, but I’ve found the most effective way to get him back to sleep is by nursing him (I know… wrong method). Last night, with a FULL tank, he went to sleep at 7pm. His first waking was at 8:30/8:35/8:40/8:45 (paci finally worked), then 12 (feeding), then 2:45/2:50/2:55, then 3 (feeding) and then didn’t want to go back to sleep. By 4am, Israel decided that he was going to let him cry it out. Rough night…
Here is the original email:
"Jake is now 4 months + 9 days and is still waking up every 3 hrs (if not less) in the night. Not all wakings are hunger-based, but I’ve found the most effective way to get him back to sleep is by nursing him (I know… wrong method). Last night, with a FULL tank, he went to sleep at 7pm. His first waking was at 8:30/8:35/8:40/8:45 (paci finally worked), then 12 (feeding), then 2:45/2:50/2:55, then 3 (feeding) and then didn’t want to go back to sleep. By 4am, Israel decided that he was going to let him cry it out. Rough night…
So we are now forced to do some sort of sleep training for Jake. Can you please tell me what you did, whether you felt it was effective, what you would’ve done differently (if anything), etc.? Any words of comfort would also be appreciated for my breaking heart…"
My coworkers response:
"First, I TOTALLY feel your pain!! We had to let Calder cry when I finally had enough at about 5 or 6 mo. He was still getting up 2 or 3 times every night to nurse & it started getting worse so his doctor said he was a good candidate for crying since he clearly wanted to play when he woke up (nothing else would soothe him…not, the swing or even nursing when it was at its worst). She told me to use ear plugs (helpful) but it is very emotionally painful. Andy had to be the one to check on him (every few minutes) or just to sit with him (which just made Calder madder it seemed, but made us feel a bit better). I just couldn’t sit there & watch him cry & reach to be picked up!! Anyway, since I do all the feedings I thought it was fair that Andy deal with that!
Fortunately, we only had to do it a few nights (& occasional other times). My concern is always that I don’t know if he is just crying because he doesn’t feel well. (Unless he has a fever, how can we tell!?) So another helpful thing the doctor told us is to just give him Tylenol when he is having one of those nights (so you rule out him wailing because he’s not feeling well). (She said a few nights of Tylenol won’t hurt.) …Then, if that still doesn’t work after a ½ hour or so, do the sleep training. (sigh.)
When Calder was younger we didn’t let him cry, but we did bounce him to sleep on a Pilates ball, & if he kept waking up (like Jake did last night), we put him in his swing to sleep. That usually kept him asleep until his regular wake up times & then I could usually put him back in the crib after the feeding. I think this happened randomly, but regularly when he was 3-5 months old. I totally believe that every baby & family is different, and you might all be ready to (& need to) do sleep training now even though I wasn’t ready yet!
They say breastfed babies wake up more (don’t know if it’s true), but it’s so easy to breastfeed them back to sleep that it becomes hard NOT to do it! I still occasionally feed Calder at about 5 AM. (He’s 13 months old now.) …but then if he sleeps until 7:30 after that, it’s worth it to me. Rocking, etc. has never worked for Calder at all. (He would just get more upset.) Breastfeeding was/is the only thing that really works, so, of course, I do it. Yes, some people might think I’m “giving in” or being a weak parent, but he is a pretty good sleeper now has mostly stopped getting up, so maybe he just needed the extra nutrients? …or the extra love? (…at least that’s what I’ll choose to believe for all my wake-ups!)
It seems that most rough nights can be blamed on teething, growth spurts (needing more food), or being sick. …& then sometimes a little bit on just wanting more time to play, be with mom, etc. The problem is that it’s so hard to tell what’s going on! I usually give him a night or 2 (occasionally more if not totally desperate for sleep) to see if it might be health related, then, if it’s starting to be a pattern, we let him cry. Here’s the “method” that we have evolved into using: We go in & pick him up for a few seconds (try to calm him, but he usually screams, especially as you….) then put him back down, walk out of the room & let him cry if he must. We call it “ the reset.” When he amps back up to full pitch, we go in & do it again. Or, if he starts at full pitch we wait about 10-15 minutes to see if he’ll calm down before we reset him again. Now, when we have to do this, we usually only have to reset him once, since I think I knows that we’re not going to give in & let him nurse, play, etc.
Alright, I already wrote more than you will have time to read! Good luck. Remember that everything is changing & like everything with babies, it won’t last long! (We kept reminding each other “There is no ‘this.’”….as in “I can’t do ‘this!’” since it is always changing….both the good & the bad things!)
Friday, November 12, 2010
Discipline Done Wrong
As most of us know being a parent is the toughest job we will ever do and there is no single right way to do it nor is there any sort of actual instruction guide. We just blindly do what we think is right, deal with situations on the fly, perhaps refer to a book written by a doctor or "professional" and hope our kid or ourselves doesn't end up in therapy.
The one thing I do know that is right...is that we are doing it wrong.
The bed time issue that I have talked about numerous times on here and even Not Raising Brats was kind enough to seek advice for me, has turned into a nightmare. And Phillip and I are realizing we both are at odds with one another in how to handle the situation and the correct way to discipline Sophie and correct the behavior.
We aren't coming to blows with one another about the issue but we are doing things two different ways which is causing it's own conflict. Here's the deal:
Most evenings, regardless of who pick's Sophie up from daycare, we are at the house around 5:45p.m. Dinner is being prepped or cooked by 6 p.m., we are eating and cleaning up between 6:30 or 7:00 p.m. Then the bedtime preparations begin.
Some nights we get protest other nights the bath part goes smoothly but everything else falls apart. I'm trying to get Sophie to bed (like in bed, kisses given, books read, lights out) by 8 p.m.
The average adult who doesn't hate kids should realize that 2 hours with your offspring just isn't enough time. So what this had lead to several times of the past few weeks is a complete meltdown-for Sophie and Mama. I'm fighting with Sophie to take her bath or wash her hair. Then we are fighting to get a pull-up and her jammies on. Then we are fighting over how many books to read.
The night I started writing this post I had given Sophie a "sink-bath" and when it was time to get out she protested. I stood my ground and got her out of the sink. She only wanted to play more. So after a tantrum to and from her bedroom, some attempted intervention from Phillip, I just gave in and put her back in the sink. This was at 8 p.m. This wasn't just a simple disagreement. It was a battle of wills. She was screaming, I was screaming, Phillip was now trying to step calmly out of the situation. As Sophie gleefully played with bubbles in the sink I bawled on the floor-so exhausted and clueless about how to really handle the situation.
We finally got Sophie out of the sink, in her PJs, and ready for bed. At this point I was so upset at myself for treating her the way I did and I knew she would continue the fight once it was actually time for her to get in bed we let her sleep with me for a while. I went to bed with her at 8:30p.m. or so.
This leads to the second complication of this whole ordeal. I've been up since 5 a.m., at work and in traffic all day, exhausted, haven't seen Phillip or even decompressed and then I'm going to bed early to appease Sophie and let sleep take care of my problems. All very counter productive.
So this is what I'd like to know: how do YOU deal with discipline? Phillip tries to be firm and set the boundaries but I'm so exhausted and don't have the time nor energy to deal I just given in. We are working at odds with one another.
What do you do? What tricks have you learned? What books written by experts have you read that have helped?
*I started this post on 11/5. Since then we have had less struggles but haven't resolved how to deal with disciplining a 2.5 year old.
The one thing I do know that is right...is that we are doing it wrong.
The bed time issue that I have talked about numerous times on here and even Not Raising Brats was kind enough to seek advice for me, has turned into a nightmare. And Phillip and I are realizing we both are at odds with one another in how to handle the situation and the correct way to discipline Sophie and correct the behavior.
We aren't coming to blows with one another about the issue but we are doing things two different ways which is causing it's own conflict. Here's the deal:
Most evenings, regardless of who pick's Sophie up from daycare, we are at the house around 5:45p.m. Dinner is being prepped or cooked by 6 p.m., we are eating and cleaning up between 6:30 or 7:00 p.m. Then the bedtime preparations begin.
Some nights we get protest other nights the bath part goes smoothly but everything else falls apart. I'm trying to get Sophie to bed (like in bed, kisses given, books read, lights out) by 8 p.m.
The average adult who doesn't hate kids should realize that 2 hours with your offspring just isn't enough time. So what this had lead to several times of the past few weeks is a complete meltdown-for Sophie and Mama. I'm fighting with Sophie to take her bath or wash her hair. Then we are fighting to get a pull-up and her jammies on. Then we are fighting over how many books to read.
The night I started writing this post I had given Sophie a "sink-bath" and when it was time to get out she protested. I stood my ground and got her out of the sink. She only wanted to play more. So after a tantrum to and from her bedroom, some attempted intervention from Phillip, I just gave in and put her back in the sink. This was at 8 p.m. This wasn't just a simple disagreement. It was a battle of wills. She was screaming, I was screaming, Phillip was now trying to step calmly out of the situation. As Sophie gleefully played with bubbles in the sink I bawled on the floor-so exhausted and clueless about how to really handle the situation.
We finally got Sophie out of the sink, in her PJs, and ready for bed. At this point I was so upset at myself for treating her the way I did and I knew she would continue the fight once it was actually time for her to get in bed we let her sleep with me for a while. I went to bed with her at 8:30p.m. or so.
This leads to the second complication of this whole ordeal. I've been up since 5 a.m., at work and in traffic all day, exhausted, haven't seen Phillip or even decompressed and then I'm going to bed early to appease Sophie and let sleep take care of my problems. All very counter productive.
So this is what I'd like to know: how do YOU deal with discipline? Phillip tries to be firm and set the boundaries but I'm so exhausted and don't have the time nor energy to deal I just given in. We are working at odds with one another.
What do you do? What tricks have you learned? What books written by experts have you read that have helped?
*I started this post on 11/5. Since then we have had less struggles but haven't resolved how to deal with disciplining a 2.5 year old.
Monday, May 10, 2010
To sleep or not to sleep
Google "sleep facts" and you will no doubt have an onslaught of results. One quickly caught my eye with it's teaser info.
"A new baby typically results in 400-750 hours lost sleep for parents in the first year!" Found on Hibermate.com
That's a lot of lost sleep! Toddlers need between 14-15 hours of sleep a day. But getting a child to sleep-yeah, there don't seem to be a lot of "facts" on that. I've done a lot of "research" on this topic - Google searches, asking friends with kids, reading baby forums, talking to my mom and mother-in-law. If only we could teach kids at the tender age of two that they WANT to sleep now because it is a precious commodity when they are older the world world would be a happier place.
We are still having problems getting Sophie to go to sleep. I follow the rules: bath, jammies, brush teeth, soft light, blinds closed, story (or four), hugs and kisses, into the bed. And each night it's the same. Even though she is practically jumping out of my arms and into the bed-she screams when she gets in there.
"Green, green." She shouts, indicating she wants the green blanket. And then the fuzzy new blanket Gramma made her, or the blanket I knit her. "Pillow, pillow." She wants the other pillow. "Doodle, doodle." Meaning she wants another stuffed dog to sleep with. I really don't put up with this long. I tell her I love her, give her another kiss, and make my exit. The screaming and crying continues. Breaks my heart every night. I just want to put her down with a hug and a kiss and have her peacefully drift to sleep. But that's not my lot.
Two nights ago we went to check on her before we went to bed and she was sideways in the crib, blankets askew, feet dangling out between the bed slats. Last night she cried and talked to herself for 45 minutes! And when I heard a banging sound over the sound of the tv I sent the husband in to check on her. She was sideways again and kicking the bed and it reverberated against the wall. Tonight cries and sounds of "MAMA" continued as I got in the shower. Post shower I hear her talking to herself. "No, no, no-no." Who knows.
Luckily nine and a half times out of ten when she is finally asleep she sleeps the whole night through. I guess I've just got to pick my battles.
"A new baby typically results in 400-750 hours lost sleep for parents in the first year!" Found on Hibermate.com
That's a lot of lost sleep! Toddlers need between 14-15 hours of sleep a day. But getting a child to sleep-yeah, there don't seem to be a lot of "facts" on that. I've done a lot of "research" on this topic - Google searches, asking friends with kids, reading baby forums, talking to my mom and mother-in-law. If only we could teach kids at the tender age of two that they WANT to sleep now because it is a precious commodity when they are older the world world would be a happier place.
We are still having problems getting Sophie to go to sleep. I follow the rules: bath, jammies, brush teeth, soft light, blinds closed, story (or four), hugs and kisses, into the bed. And each night it's the same. Even though she is practically jumping out of my arms and into the bed-she screams when she gets in there.
"Green, green." She shouts, indicating she wants the green blanket. And then the fuzzy new blanket Gramma made her, or the blanket I knit her. "Pillow, pillow." She wants the other pillow. "Doodle, doodle." Meaning she wants another stuffed dog to sleep with. I really don't put up with this long. I tell her I love her, give her another kiss, and make my exit. The screaming and crying continues. Breaks my heart every night. I just want to put her down with a hug and a kiss and have her peacefully drift to sleep. But that's not my lot.
Two nights ago we went to check on her before we went to bed and she was sideways in the crib, blankets askew, feet dangling out between the bed slats. Last night she cried and talked to herself for 45 minutes! And when I heard a banging sound over the sound of the tv I sent the husband in to check on her. She was sideways again and kicking the bed and it reverberated against the wall. Tonight cries and sounds of "MAMA" continued as I got in the shower. Post shower I hear her talking to herself. "No, no, no-no." Who knows.
Luckily nine and a half times out of ten when she is finally asleep she sleeps the whole night through. I guess I've just got to pick my battles.
Saturday, March 06, 2010
Shhh She's sleeping
Due to the rotation of the Earth and Daylight Saving Time not yet upon us the sun woke me up naturally at 7 am this morning. I love 7 am. It is the most perfect hour in which to wake-not too early, not too late. Too bad it will be all wonky next weekend. But while Sophie sleeps a little more I'm going to indulge in the quiet, the internet and my coffee.
------------------
Sleep Update: She is still having fits when we put her down at night. I've done a lot of what everyone has suggested: lavender room spray, staying out of our room as much as possible, a little more reading and cuddling right before putting her down, you name it-I've tried it. The fits are getting shorter but they break my heart nonetheless. She also wakes at least once a night but I have just let her cry it out and go back to sleep. We did compromise on a "big girl bed" in which we put a pillow in the bed with her. She seems to like that a lot. I'm not ready for the full transition-I don't want her to be staring at me at the foot of my bed at 2am just yet!
------------------
I would walk 10,000 miles. Since the weather is finally moving from blizzard conditions to bearable we took a walk yesterday afternoon. I had dinner in the oven andwaiting on Comcast to check out our intermittent at a best signal so we could only walk to the end of the street. This was the first "real" walk Sophie has ever been on (sans stroller.) It is about 1/4 mile in distance. We got to the end of the street and turned around to come back and Sophie had a melt down. She wanted to keep walking but definitely not back towards home. She kept pointing across the street for more. I eventually had to just pick her up kicking and screaming and carry her back. All I could do was laugh. I pictured the opposite happening the whole time...not wanting to go on the walk at all. When we returned home we let Phillip go check on dinner and Sophie and I meandered up a different street. When the turn around came she had a temper tantrum again. I guess the endurance is good...maybe our next walk will be enough to make her go right to sleep!
-------------------
Time out. After the walk and before dinner she was in a foul mood. She was begging for Elmo.We sometimes watch all Sesame Street has to offer on YouTube and yesterday she wasn't content with my selections and then I had to get dinner on the table. So when we turned the computer off she was NOT a happy camper. Phillip decided it was time for a time out. (Mommy had time out too, Cab/Shiraz by Jacob's Creek.) And you know what-it worked. She sat in her chair in the corner of the kitchen and didn't move. She cried, she settled down, we all felt better.
------------------
I want another kid after all this?
Phillip and I have been talking about when we will have another bun in the oven. After dealing with Sophie's melt downs over Elmo or learning not to throw and her bed time fits I sometimes find myself questioning why? Why do this all over again? Can I handle a toddler and an infant both crying, both needing completely different things? On top of being exhausted during and after pregnancy? Then I think of my parents who did this FIVE times! And I realize why they both like to drink wine and cocktails! Or my brother and sister-in-law who have three kids and have worked through some very difficult times or hell people who have had twins! So, tell me...how do you get through the hard spots to be delirious enough to go for two?
------------------
Sleep Update: She is still having fits when we put her down at night. I've done a lot of what everyone has suggested: lavender room spray, staying out of our room as much as possible, a little more reading and cuddling right before putting her down, you name it-I've tried it. The fits are getting shorter but they break my heart nonetheless. She also wakes at least once a night but I have just let her cry it out and go back to sleep. We did compromise on a "big girl bed" in which we put a pillow in the bed with her. She seems to like that a lot. I'm not ready for the full transition-I don't want her to be staring at me at the foot of my bed at 2am just yet!
------------------
I would walk 10,000 miles. Since the weather is finally moving from blizzard conditions to bearable we took a walk yesterday afternoon. I had dinner in the oven andwaiting on Comcast to check out our intermittent at a best signal so we could only walk to the end of the street. This was the first "real" walk Sophie has ever been on (sans stroller.) It is about 1/4 mile in distance. We got to the end of the street and turned around to come back and Sophie had a melt down. She wanted to keep walking but definitely not back towards home. She kept pointing across the street for more. I eventually had to just pick her up kicking and screaming and carry her back. All I could do was laugh. I pictured the opposite happening the whole time...not wanting to go on the walk at all. When we returned home we let Phillip go check on dinner and Sophie and I meandered up a different street. When the turn around came she had a temper tantrum again. I guess the endurance is good...maybe our next walk will be enough to make her go right to sleep!
-------------------
Time out. After the walk and before dinner she was in a foul mood. She was begging for Elmo.We sometimes watch all Sesame Street has to offer on YouTube and yesterday she wasn't content with my selections and then I had to get dinner on the table. So when we turned the computer off she was NOT a happy camper. Phillip decided it was time for a time out. (Mommy had time out too, Cab/Shiraz by Jacob's Creek.) And you know what-it worked. She sat in her chair in the corner of the kitchen and didn't move. She cried, she settled down, we all felt better.
------------------
I want another kid after all this?
Phillip and I have been talking about when we will have another bun in the oven. After dealing with Sophie's melt downs over Elmo or learning not to throw and her bed time fits I sometimes find myself questioning why? Why do this all over again? Can I handle a toddler and an infant both crying, both needing completely different things? On top of being exhausted during and after pregnancy? Then I think of my parents who did this FIVE times! And I realize why they both like to drink wine and cocktails! Or my brother and sister-in-law who have three kids and have worked through some very difficult times or hell people who have had twins! So, tell me...how do you get through the hard spots to be delirious enough to go for two?
Wednesday, February 24, 2010
Follow up to Night Night
"Good, you've pinpointed it. Step two is washing it out."-Tommy Boy
Well we don't have to wash it out but we do need to figure out the solution to the problem. I think the issue with Sophie not wanting to go night night is that she doesn't want to go to sleep in her bed. While gathering up her items for sleep tonight she was laying on our bed and said "night night" like she meant it. I then picked her up and she fought me to get out of my arms. The crying and screaming started immediately on the walk across the hall to her room.
We haven't really ever been co-sleepers. When she was an infant she had only slept with us occasionally and that was usually in the middle of the night when she would NOT go back to sleep. Lately when she has seemed to wake in the middle of the night particularly distressed I let her snuggle with us but she never falls back asleep and just plays with my nose and mouth so I eventually put her back in her bed.
I guess wanting to go night night in our bed is just so she can be with us. But I need my beauty sleep so that's not going to happen if sleeping in our bed becomes a new habit. I wonder if it's time to upgrade to a big girl bed so she feels the same level of comfort she has in our bed? Hmmm What do you think the solution is?
Well we don't have to wash it out but we do need to figure out the solution to the problem. I think the issue with Sophie not wanting to go night night is that she doesn't want to go to sleep in her bed. While gathering up her items for sleep tonight she was laying on our bed and said "night night" like she meant it. I then picked her up and she fought me to get out of my arms. The crying and screaming started immediately on the walk across the hall to her room.
We haven't really ever been co-sleepers. When she was an infant she had only slept with us occasionally and that was usually in the middle of the night when she would NOT go back to sleep. Lately when she has seemed to wake in the middle of the night particularly distressed I let her snuggle with us but she never falls back asleep and just plays with my nose and mouth so I eventually put her back in her bed.
I guess wanting to go night night in our bed is just so she can be with us. But I need my beauty sleep so that's not going to happen if sleeping in our bed becomes a new habit. I wonder if it's time to upgrade to a big girl bed so she feels the same level of comfort she has in our bed? Hmmm What do you think the solution is?
Monday, February 22, 2010
Night Night
Night night is a new favorite game for Sophie to play...at all hours of the day. Get her up from her nap and she says night night, slams her head against her mattress before I even have a chance to get her out of the crib. While changing the sheets on our bed- she will grab our pillows and go night night in the warm downy soft pile of bedding on the floor. If only actual night night was this easy.
Sophie's first few months on this earth were not easy. She supposedly had "her days and nights confused" whatever-she was an infant- don't they all do that?
She started out rough but somewhere around six or seven months she was sleeping through the night and it was bliss. 13, 14, 15 hours at a time. A new mother's dream. For about the first 9 months of her life she would head off to the land of nod after breastfeeding or a bottle, nestled on one of our chests while we rocked her and her lullaby soundtrack gently played on iTunes.
Sure it wasn't always bliss but looking back it seemed pretty easy. For a while between her first birthday and 18mos. she would nearly jump out of my arms and into the crib! She wouldn't make a peep and to me it was MAGIC.
Now I approach night night with anticipation and trepidation. On a regular day I don't get to see my lovebug before I head out for the Battle of the Beltway at 6:00 a.m. When Sophie and Phillip arrive home in the evening we have a little play time, dinner, bath, books, and bed. I have to squeeze all that into a three hour stretch: 5:00 p.m.-8:00 p.m. That leaves 8:00 p.m. - 9:00 p.m. for "me" time. It's not easy, but it's what we do.
Sophie's bedtime used to be 7-7:30 p.m. but due to the aforementioned schedule that just wasn't working out and wasn't enough family time. So we've pushed the bedtime to 8:00 p.m. -remember I only get about an hour of downtime a day! For about the past two months on a pretty consistent basis when we put Sophie to bed she SCREAMS! Crying, tears, kicking, and screaming. It breaks my heart every time. I'm being a bit selfish in that 8:00 p.m. is MY time and she is intruding on it by screaming and crying. I often just wait outside her door and listen and pray and sometimes cry myself that she will stop quickly. Sometimes she only cries and doesn't scream but it still doesn't make it that much better.
I don't know what to do. It upsets me and frustrates me. I have taken to giving her a quick hug and kiss and I love you and leaving the room abruptly because I want to get over the screaming part as quickly as possible. Tonight she went to bed at 8:17 p.m. and screamed and cried until 8:24 p.m. That doesn't seem like a long time but when all you can hear is screaming a crying it seems like an eternity.
We do the routine thing. Dinner, usually straight to the tub, play in the tub, jammies, brush teeth, read or play quietly and then 8:00 p.m or a bit later bed time. We both hug and kiss her and wind up her musical bear and lights out...and then the screaming.
I don't know what else to do. I sometimes just go to bed then too listening to her across the hall and asking myself what I'm doing wrong.
What is your nightly routine? How well does your toddler go to bed and sleep? Any advice?
Sophie's first few months on this earth were not easy. She supposedly had "her days and nights confused" whatever-she was an infant- don't they all do that?
She started out rough but somewhere around six or seven months she was sleeping through the night and it was bliss. 13, 14, 15 hours at a time. A new mother's dream. For about the first 9 months of her life she would head off to the land of nod after breastfeeding or a bottle, nestled on one of our chests while we rocked her and her lullaby soundtrack gently played on iTunes.
Sure it wasn't always bliss but looking back it seemed pretty easy. For a while between her first birthday and 18mos. she would nearly jump out of my arms and into the crib! She wouldn't make a peep and to me it was MAGIC.
Now I approach night night with anticipation and trepidation. On a regular day I don't get to see my lovebug before I head out for the Battle of the Beltway at 6:00 a.m. When Sophie and Phillip arrive home in the evening we have a little play time, dinner, bath, books, and bed. I have to squeeze all that into a three hour stretch: 5:00 p.m.-8:00 p.m. That leaves 8:00 p.m. - 9:00 p.m. for "me" time. It's not easy, but it's what we do.
Sophie's bedtime used to be 7-7:30 p.m. but due to the aforementioned schedule that just wasn't working out and wasn't enough family time. So we've pushed the bedtime to 8:00 p.m. -remember I only get about an hour of downtime a day! For about the past two months on a pretty consistent basis when we put Sophie to bed she SCREAMS! Crying, tears, kicking, and screaming. It breaks my heart every time. I'm being a bit selfish in that 8:00 p.m. is MY time and she is intruding on it by screaming and crying. I often just wait outside her door and listen and pray and sometimes cry myself that she will stop quickly. Sometimes she only cries and doesn't scream but it still doesn't make it that much better.
I don't know what to do. It upsets me and frustrates me. I have taken to giving her a quick hug and kiss and I love you and leaving the room abruptly because I want to get over the screaming part as quickly as possible. Tonight she went to bed at 8:17 p.m. and screamed and cried until 8:24 p.m. That doesn't seem like a long time but when all you can hear is screaming a crying it seems like an eternity.
We do the routine thing. Dinner, usually straight to the tub, play in the tub, jammies, brush teeth, read or play quietly and then 8:00 p.m or a bit later bed time. We both hug and kiss her and wind up her musical bear and lights out...and then the screaming.
I don't know what else to do. I sometimes just go to bed then too listening to her across the hall and asking myself what I'm doing wrong.
What is your nightly routine? How well does your toddler go to bed and sleep? Any advice?
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)