Monday, July 05, 2010

Plans

"The best laid plans of mice and men often go astray." -Robert Burns
"If you want to make God laugh tell him your plans."
"A journey is a person in itself; no two are alike. And all plans, safeguards, policing, and coercion are fruitless. We find that after years of struggle that we do not take a trip; a trip takes us."-John Steinbeck

I'm sure I could find a million quotes about plans, planning, and plans that go vastly different from how WE plan our day or our life. Which ever one I choose to sum up this feeling of "nothing going as we planned" would be the perfect quote. Because really, nothing ever does happen exactly as we plan.

On my wedding day (which for most women we plan to a meticulous T) the priest forgot that a friend of mine was going to sing during communion. There she stood ready to belt out "All the Beauty of the Earth" and then not a note.

We were trying to buy a house this year but a multitude of factors stood in our way and here we are renting again.

And imagine my surprise on the morning of July 4, when Phillip woke me up and I casually told him "I'm going to pee on a stick. I haven't gotten my period yet." With about as much excitement as "I'm going to go buy a gallon of milk." I assumed I was late because of stress of finding a new place to live, anticipating gall bladder surgery in a few weeks. So imagine my extreme surprise when the blinking timer on the digital pregnancy test suddenly flashed to "pregnant."

June was the one month we hadn't been actively pursuing pregnancy. January-May we tried, I charted my temperatures, I prayed to become pregnant. And each month I was disappointed by the arrival of my period or a negative pregnancy test. In June we didn't stop trying but I let my guard down. I stopped charting mid-month. Stopped obsessing about it. Stopped thinking of what I was doing right or wrong and stopped trying. Well surprise, surprise.

My first thought wasn't excitement though. I cried, scared to death because a few weeks prior I went to the emergency room for extreme stomach pain and learned I have gall stones. They doped me up with dilaudid, a heavy duty pain medication. Then I had several rounds of antibiotics, a prescription for pain medication in case of another attack and I didn't eat for 28 hours. When then asked me in the hospital if I was or could possibly be pregnant I brushed it off with a nonchalant "I don't think so."

Next was shock. I really couldn't believe it. Since my miscarriage in October 2009 I've been a bit freaked out that I would have problems getting pregnant. Irrational, I know, but I also know more friends that are dealing with IF and it scares me.

I am eager to call my OB tomorrow and the Dr. who is scheduled to remove my gall bladder. I want to make sure my casual response in the hospital didn't harm the baby inside me. Then I'm eager to call my parents and siblings!

Now, it is 5 weeks later. I'm 10 weeks along....

1 comment:

Hillary said...

Congratulations! That's so exciting!