Saturday, June 25, 2011

Figuring it out

We are having some of Phillip's former students over for a cookout tonight and I should be helping to get a few last minute things done. But, the girls are BOTH napping so the work is going to have to wait while I write.

I've spent the last week looking deep inside myself and trying to unlock where my negative energy is coming from and how I'm going to go about fixing it. I know it will be a long journey but I'm on the trail at least. I have started journaling again. Bought a cheap made from recycled paper and sugar cane notebook and a great bright blue pen to write with. You have to have a fun pen! I went grocery shopping today and bought some wholesome organic eggs, milk, strawberries, apples and whole wheat pitas and Wasa. You are what you eat. And I know my stomach is YELLING at me to change my ways.

And I started to pray. I was raised Catholic and self-swapped to Episcopalian when Phillip and I met. We are practicing Episcopalian's and go to church regularly but I always feel distracted there because the kids can't sit still and really listen. So I haven't felt like I've really prayed in a while. Under the beating hot water of the shower while both girls and husband were occupied I found a quiet space that was all mine. I sent a prayer to God.

I'm looking forward to this sort of reinvention of myself. It feels like a challenge and a journey well worth the time and expense.


k said...

Your spirit and emotional well-being are always worth the time and energy. I am excited and hopeful and happy for your journey.

Anonymous said...

Nice post. It is and will be a long journey, but one you have to do. Just when you seem totally off balance is when you find your balance. Stay true and you've got the right mind set. Sometimes we get knocked off, just figure out something new. Good luck.