We are having some of Phillip's former students over for a cookout tonight and I should be helping to get a few last minute things done. But, the girls are BOTH napping so the work is going to have to wait while I write.
I've spent the last week looking deep inside myself and trying to unlock where my negative energy is coming from and how I'm going to go about fixing it. I know it will be a long journey but I'm on the trail at least. I have started journaling again. Bought a cheap made from recycled paper and sugar cane notebook and a great bright blue pen to write with. You have to have a fun pen! I went grocery shopping today and bought some wholesome organic eggs, milk, strawberries, apples and whole wheat pitas and Wasa. You are what you eat. And I know my stomach is YELLING at me to change my ways.
And I started to pray. I was raised Catholic and self-swapped to Episcopalian when Phillip and I met. We are practicing Episcopalian's and go to church regularly but I always feel distracted there because the kids can't sit still and really listen. So I haven't felt like I've really prayed in a while. Under the beating hot water of the shower while both girls and husband were occupied I found a quiet space that was all mine. I sent a prayer to God.
I'm looking forward to this sort of reinvention of myself. It feels like a challenge and a journey well worth the time and expense.