Currently...

Took this idea from a fellow blogger. Loved it so much I thought I'd do it here too. Feel free to leave your own responses in the comments.

Reading: The Thinking Woman's Guide to a Better Birth by Henci Goer and just picked up Worst Case by James Patterson at the library...I don't think I've read that one yet!

Looking forward to: Sleeping on my stomach again

Stressing about: How the hell we are actually going to afford two kids

Craving: A BIG glass of cold wine

Wanting: A date night or afternoon or 30 minutes with the husband (keeping this from K's original post!)

Wearing: Anything that fits. Can I just live in yoga pants for the rest of my days?

Sick of: getting up every two hours throughout the night to pee.

Learning: How to have a baby in the water!

Suffering from: Not enough time

Struggling with: How an infant and toddler are going to share a room!

Hoping to: Have Sophia potty trained (and NOT reverse) by the time Emma arrives

Excited for: uhhhh Hello! I'm having a baby!

Relieved by: coworkers/friends that threw a "sprinkle" for me and now I'm stocked up on some of the basics

Splurging on: nothing. pinching pennies these days..but Sophie and I did share a small chocolate milk shake at Chick-Fil-A today!

Nesting

Sophia's choice of toys and play has always been the more creative, hands on, manipulative toys. Trucks, fire engines, play-doh, blocks, farm toys. She has three dolls one of which she just liked to take it's clothes off-not really play with. That was until about two weeks ago.

The weekend my girlfriends came for a visit and helped clean out the closet and organize the baby stuff a door was opened. Not only can we find stuff now but some of the necessary baby stuff is visible-like the swing.

Sophie started carrying around one of the baby dolls, which she insisted be wrapped up like a burrito, and puts the baby in the swing every day. Every morning the swing makes it's way to the kitchen with baby and and night the swing goes back to the bedroom so she and baby can sleep.

Baby has come with us to church and the grocery store. I hold the baby as if it were real. If the baby falls we give it kisses. Her other baby is now sporting a size 1 diaper because I had to physically demonstrate that Sophie wouldn't fit in the diaper!

I guess this is a good thing as we approach Emma's birth day. Sophia has a baby to care for and so will I.

Toddler Tuesday

A few weeks ago we took Sophie to get her haircut, her FIRST haircut. She was just shy of 2 years and 9 months old. I felt a little bad getting her locks trimmed off since it took us nearly 3 years to accumulate the amount of hair she has but her bangs were in her eyes and she was looking a little scraggly. So off to Ms. Lee's barbershop where Phillip gets his hair cut and what a world of difference. I'm glad Ms. Lee knows how to cut hair in a fashion other than just a high and tight!Our little ragamuffin.
First trim!
The Phillip smirk.
Almost done.
Look how pretty!

Logistics

I am 34 weeks pregnant today. As we approach "due date" more and more people have inquired about the birth of our daughter. To those who don't know I'm planning a home birth in the water they are surprised and inquisitive, for the people who already know of this plan they just have questions about the hows, whys and wheres. So here are some of the details.

I am planning a home birth in the water. My midwife will start seeing me at home at week 36.

Supplies: I ordered a birth kit online through my midwife. It includes the "piddle pads" used at the hospital, that blue mucous suker outtie thing, a paper measuring tape, the ohhh so sexy mesh underwear, a cord clamp and my favorite items 2 bendy straws (I don't think I want to know what those are for!) and a bunch of other items that the midwife includes in her personalized kit. It arrived last week and waiting to join the rest of the supplies.

Can I use my bathtub? Well I could, it's deep enough but not wide enough and the bathroom as a whole isn't big enough to accommodate Phillip, me, the midwife and birth assistant. So we are renting a tub. You can buy what are essentially kiddie pools but they can't take hot water. The next step up are more durable kiddie pools that you can put hot water in and cover with a sleeping bag or quilt until ready to use to maintain the water temperature. We have chosen to go with the next higher grade tub that plugs in and has a heater to keep the water warm. It is 5' in diameter, 24" high and rents for $250.

Where is the hospital? In case of the need to be transferred the hospital is literally around the corner. I clocked it on the way home tonight and it is 1/2 a mile from our driveway. The firehouse is across the street. I'm not worried about needing their services or being caught in a precarious situation that hampers us from getting there quickly.

Where will Sophia be during all of this? I have no problem with Sophie witnessing this miracle of birth, Phillip is a bit more hesitant. So our rough plan is that if I am in labor during daycare hours she'll be there. If it's the middle of the night, we'll let her sleep. If it is a weekend she can hopefully play with the neighbor's kids for a bit or my mom, sister, or good friend can occupy her or take her somewhere else for a bit. The midwife suggested if she is around while I'm in labor and she is okay with it, not stressed, not causing me stress let it ride. Some kids get freaked out, some kids are cool with it. We'll just play it by ear.

Won't she hear you? I confirmed with Phillip that when giving birth to Sophie, I never screamed or moaned in agony. I think this time around may be even less vocal. We'll see.

Where will Dolly (the beagle) be during all of this? Probably where she is most all of the time, day or night. Asleep, on the couch.

Do you actually give birth to the baby in the water? Yes, if I want. The water is great for labor-it's relaxing, calming, and can help ease some of the pain associated with labor. Additionally, you can actually birth the baby directly into the water. Since the baby is still breathing via umbilical cord it doesn't need the air right away to breathe. So you can let the baby gently come through the water and then out of the water before it will take it's first breath.

What questions do you have about home birth or water birth?

TEMPER TANTRUM

It was like a switch turned on and I can't make any sense of it.

Yesterday, after a two hour commute home, I walked in the house to a husband starting dinner and an adorable toddler who was excited and happy to see me. That's what I needed. Less than ten minutes later, that all changed.

The play by play:
Went to the bathroom. "I come wif you mama." Okay, I can handle that.
Went to the bedroom for my ponytail holder and slippers. Sophie followed.
While sitting on the bed putting on the slippers she noticed Phillip's lip balm and asked if she should bring it to him. I said that would be very nice (regardless if he needed it or not.)
Next thing I hear is a crying kiddo coming back to the bedroom telling me she threw the lip balm in the kitchen. I don't even think Phillip was in the kitchen at the time.

Sophie then goes bizurk! She is crying because she threw the lip balm, I ask her why she is getting so upset and that just made things worse. She is just whaling and screaming and crying for no rational reason. I sit on the bed again to try and talk to her, she yells at me not to sit down. I'm trying to put my hair back and she yells at me not to do that. By now Phillip has come back to see what is going on and try to help. He is met by a Sophie monster who wants nothing to do with him and wants him out of the room.

She was unconsoleable and uncontrolable. And by this point I'm in tears and completely perplexed by her behavior. Phillip sequesters her to her room until she can calm down.

In my head, tantrums are cause and effect. The child doesn't get her way= throws a fit. Phillip kept trying to explain to me that tantrums are a childs way of getting attention. I refuted this because she was GETTING attention. She was with me, helping me, hell, she went potty with me. How much more attention does she need?!?

After two rounds with Phillip in the bedroom and more tears than we can count she finally came out, apologized, brought me a kleenex. And we ate dinner.

I just want an explanation.

Midwifery

On December 30 I met with a midwife. I walked out of the appointment feeling excited, giddy, and anxious to have this next baby...in the comforts of my own home.

I met with her for an hour and a half. Discussing the birth of Sophia, my miscarriage, the LEEP procedure I had to remove potentially cancerous cells, and this pregnancy. It was so rewarding to have a conversation about me, my body, my gynecological health. It wasn't the standard, check-in, pee in a cup, get weighed, wait 20 minutes for the doctor to arrive in the cold, sterile, unattractive room. I sat on the couch, drinking water, openly discussing the things important to me; my family and having another baby.

A little background: I miscarried in October 2009 at about 5 or 6 weeks. I knew I needed the LEEP procedure but couldn't right away because I had miscarried. Then the window for the procedure opened up again. Within 6 weeks I went from feeling elated about being pregnant to devastated and then concerned I wouldn't get pregnant again. One complication from the LEEP is the possibility of having your cervix open prematurely when pregnant and they need to stitch you together to prevent pre-term labor. Oh fun.

So, when I found out I was pregnant again I returned to the OBGYN. I had additional ultrasounds done because we couldn't hear a heartbeat, worried about miscarriage again, then had to have internal ultrasounds to measure and asses my cervix. I had 2 week appointments between weeks 14-22 because if the cervix is going to open, that's the window of opportunity.

I felt trapped. Trapped by the "experts" needing to run tests to make sure everything was going accordingly and not causing issues. I have one doctor at the practice that I really like and almost felt like I would be letting her down if I left.

But now, after meeting the two midwives and speaking at length with one of them and the staff, I know I have made the right decision. I'm looking forward to welcoming this child into the world via the water, resting in my own bed, being surrounded by familar people and things and having Sophia be there to welcome her sister into our family.

At the end of the appointment, the midwife hugged me. Not many doctors do that!

Yup, I'm a mom...

Tonight Phillip and I went Christmas shopping. We left the house at 9pm! It was one of the smartest decisions I've ever made. Easy parking spots, stores that are open late, not a lot of people, and no lines at the check out. First stop, Macy's.

I was Christmas shopping...for myself ;) I needed a new brassiere in a bad way. Due to the baby in utero my "milk makers" have grown at an astounding rate. And for anyone who knows me personally, this kinda astounds me. Well I went in to get measured because I had actual shopping to do and didn't want to mess around. I just needed a bigger bra to get me through the next three months when I'll switch over to the oh so sexy nursing bras.

I told the clerk why I needed to get measured, what I was looking for and quipped "I think I'm even bigger this time around than when I was pregnant the first time." As I took off my sweatshirt and started taking off my sweater she casually asked-Is your first kid about 2 or 3?

Why yes, she is. How did she know.

The clerk then nicely pointed out "because you have stickers all over your shirt." That's right, I had four smiley face stickers across the top of my sweater and one about my belly button on the baby bump for good measure.

Yup, I'm a mom.

Pregnancy Tidbits

I'm 28 1/2 weeks pregnant and feeling great. My sciatica has eased off a bit which is quite a relief.
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My feet have grown and this annoys me. I now wear a size 10, up from a 9 1/2. I wonder if they will shrink after the birth.
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I have an appointment with a midwife tomorrow and could not be more excited. I really wanted to use a midwife and do home birth with Sophia but there were a lot of factors that ultimately led us to sticking with our OB and having Sophie in the hospital.

I'm looking forward to having this baby in the water, at home, and recuperating in my own bed. The only thing I might miss from the hospital is the food. They had really good food. But my mom will be in town so I think I'll be fine. As long as she makes more rice krispie treats for me to eat post delivery!

Toddler Tuesday

This past weekend Sophie and I had some much needed and well deserved Mommy/Sophie time. We set out to make some Christmas Carolers and it was a blast. Sophie loves to paint and as long as I have a good set of directions, I can be pretty crafty. I realize when working on a project of this sort with a toddler you have to let some things roll. You can't be a perfectionist and need to let their personality and "artistic design" shine through in what you are doing. You can't touch up their mistakes or finish up where they left off. Just let them do what they want and help with the rest. This is what memories are made of!

Perils of a working mom

On my way to work this morning I received a phone call from my husband. It was 7:05 am. "We're a bit cranky this morning, I want to try something."

On the line comes a sweet, tired, tiny, "hello" from Sophia. I tried asking questions-how she slept, if she'd seen Hat (our Elf on the Shelf), if she was going to be good for Papa. She responded with small "yeses" and told me she loved me - "Wuv you too mama."

Great. Phillip came back on the line and I asked "Did she ask for me this morning?" Yes. This was after a night in which we went to sleep in my bed, Phillip tried to move her, she insisted on getting back into bed with me, Phillip was going to sleep on the couch, I convinced her to sleep in her bed with my pillow. And, because I'm on overnight duty in the dorm I won't see her until tomorrow and be gone again tomorrow night.

I was then in tears. I'm sure that's not the outcome Phillip had hoped for. One of us may have felt comforted, but the other feels a heartache greater than you can imagine.

How much income can we live on? Is there another way to manage the joys and sorrows of being a working mother? All I wanted to do was turn the car around and go home to my sweet baby girl. I'm pretty sure she misses me as much as I miss her during the day.

What are you doing in there?!?

I would love to have an ultrasound machine at my disposal at all times. This kiddo in utero does more maneuvering than someone trying to do a three point turn. She is sitting very low and flips and flops all morning. I sit far out from my desk just like I ate my third Thanksgiving meal!

I don't recall Sophia being quite this active. It is so weird to feel her moving around a lot of times I can't sit up straight because it feels like I'm not giving her enough room to move!

Sophia has only felt the baby move once and didn't seem too impressed. Now that I'm at the point where you can see the baby move perhaps she'll be more interested in her baby sister.

Best Friends helping a pregnant lady out

I received the best email the other day.

I believe I was queried in an email string with my best girlfriends about how I was feeling, if I'm anxious about delivery, how things are coming along preparing for baby #2, etc. I'm lucky having a girl in March since Sophie was born in April-I really don't need a lot of "stuff." All the clothes will be the right size/right season, the gear is still in good shape, and hand-me-downs and sharing will be the wave of the future for baby Emma. All we really need is a crib and new diapers! I want a glider and nursing stool (footrest really) for breastfeeding more comfortably this time around. The only challenge to this is organizing the closet and dresser and sifting through countless vacuum storage bags to find the 0-3, 3-6, 6-9 month clothing.

In January my girls are heading east to DC for our annual Diva Weekend since I'm on the no fly list in the third trimester. We are secluding ourselves in a hotel room, wining, dining, and being girls for three days. Doing anything baby related was the furthest thing from my mind. Until I received this email:

To Twobraids:

We, the undersigned, submit a proposal to you for review regarding the
weekend in January when we come to visit.

We, your fellow Bobcats, Divas, and General Goofballs, propose to come
to your residence and empty the contents of Baby Closet, clean and
sanitize the assorted Baby Toys That Got Put In Sophie's Mouth, sort
the diapers, clothes, and other surprises contained within the
structure, and embark on a journey to make a lovely pregnant woman and
fabulous mommy less stressed.

We further have agreed to re-establish organization within said
closet, taking care to label and package everything in a way that
suits Twobraids, a.k.a. ask Momma, Wife, Nurse, Friend, Goddess.

Your prompt reply is most appreciated.

Sincerely
B-P-Mc-R Inc., LLC., etc.

This is the greatest second baby gift ever! I don't think the girls know what they are getting themselves into, but they'll find out soon enough!

It's beginning to look like Christmas....

I guess all I needed was a weekend to make the Christmas season feel like Christmas. This past weekend we had the Brown Family Christmas extravaganza! The tree came in the house with a special present from Santa, Elf on the Shelf, tucked in the boughs.

After unearthing all of my Christmas decoration boxes and remembering that lights need to go on before ornaments, all of our light strands were dead. Phillip and Sophie headed to the hardware store on Friday night while I took a busload of high school girls to see a local drive through holiday lights display. We even saw a few snow flurries.

Turns out the second strand of lights in the two strand set was also a dud-but when he returned them they just gave him a new duo of lights! Three strands for the price of two.

We went to the Warrenton Christmas parade and then ran a bunch of errands all over town. We returned home, decorated the tree, finished putting out the other decorations, started making Christmas cookies and candy, listened to music and read some of my favorite Christmas books. My beloved "beagle Christmas" sweatshirt and Christmas socks were taken out of hiding too. Don't worry, I only wear my crazy beagle lady sweatshirt in the privacy of my own home!

So the spirit is getting me. Slowly but surely it's all coming together and I'm feeling better about this magical time of year. Hopefully photos will follow tomorrow. Now it's time to dream of sugarplums!

Christmas is coming...

And I'm just not feeling it yet.

I have a toddler and feel like Christmas should just be pouring out of me as I watch her delight in the joys of the season. But instead I feel like it's just another day, just another time.

We bought our tree in North Carolina-where all good Christmas trees come from ;) It drove 11 hours on top of the car and listened to Sophie ask over and over "Where tree?" But it is still sitting outside on the porch.

We rearranged some of the furniture in our living room last night to accommodate the tree but that only reminded me of how small our place is and that the clutter that seems to be everywhere is everywhere because I don't have any other damn place to put it!

I love the celebration of Advent and expectation of Christmas and all that it represents-birth, renewal, joy, family, giving. But I'm nearly a week behind on that too because I have yet to unearth our advent wreath, candles, and prayer book.

I had hoped to make an Advent calendar but at this point should just skip it or buy the one from Wegmans with chocolate candy inside!

I just want to feel it. Feel the magic and looking at Christmas through MY child's eyes. But it all seems so distant to me.

Toddler Tuesday

As each generation of parents learn-kids don't need fancy toys. A laundry basket and a belt make a great "ride."
We added the helmet after a little harmless spill, just in case.


By the way, they also don't need new sparkly toys and teddy bears. She has recently adopted Phillip's Ted E. Bear, as her own.

Discipline Done Wrong

As most of us know being a parent is the toughest job we will ever do and there is no single right way to do it nor is there any sort of actual instruction guide. We just blindly do what we think is right, deal with situations on the fly, perhaps refer to a book written by a doctor or "professional" and hope our kid or ourselves doesn't end up in therapy.

The one thing I do know that is right...is that we are doing it wrong.

The bed time issue that I have talked about numerous times on here and even Not Raising Brats was kind enough to seek advice for me, has turned into a nightmare. And Phillip and I are realizing we both are at odds with one another in how to handle the situation and the correct way to discipline Sophie and correct the behavior.

We aren't coming to blows with one another about the issue but we are doing things two different ways which is causing it's own conflict. Here's the deal:

Most evenings, regardless of who pick's Sophie up from daycare, we are at the house around 5:45p.m. Dinner is being prepped or cooked by 6 p.m., we are eating and cleaning up between 6:30 or 7:00 p.m. Then the bedtime preparations begin.

Some nights we get protest other nights the bath part goes smoothly but everything else falls apart. I'm trying to get Sophie to bed (like in bed, kisses given, books read, lights out) by 8 p.m.

The average adult who doesn't hate kids should realize that 2 hours with your offspring just isn't enough time. So what this had lead to several times of the past few weeks is a complete meltdown-for Sophie and Mama. I'm fighting with Sophie to take her bath or wash her hair. Then we are fighting to get a pull-up and her jammies on. Then we are fighting over how many books to read.

The night I started writing this post I had given Sophie a "sink-bath" and when it was time to get out she protested. I stood my ground and got her out of the sink. She only wanted to play more. So after a tantrum to and from her bedroom, some attempted intervention from Phillip, I just gave in and put her back in the sink. This was at 8 p.m. This wasn't just a simple disagreement. It was a battle of wills. She was screaming, I was screaming, Phillip was now trying to step calmly out of the situation. As Sophie gleefully played with bubbles in the sink I bawled on the floor-so exhausted and clueless about how to really handle the situation.

We finally got Sophie out of the sink, in her PJs, and ready for bed. At this point I was so upset at myself for treating her the way I did and I knew she would continue the fight once it was actually time for her to get in bed we let her sleep with me for a while. I went to bed with her at 8:30p.m. or so.

This leads to the second complication of this whole ordeal. I've been up since 5 a.m., at work and in traffic all day, exhausted, haven't seen Phillip or even decompressed and then I'm going to bed early to appease Sophie and let sleep take care of my problems. All very counter productive.

So this is what I'd like to know: how do YOU deal with discipline? Phillip tries to be firm and set the boundaries but I'm so exhausted and don't have the time nor energy to deal I just given in. We are working at odds with one another.

What do you do? What tricks have you learned? What books written by experts have you read that have helped?

*I started this post on 11/5. Since then we have had less struggles but haven't resolved how to deal with disciplining a 2.5 year old.

Random Tidbits

Please suggest your favorite pair of maternity jeans. I have two pairs that I hate this time around. A full panel pair from Old Navy that cuts into me where the panel meets the jean. A pair from Motherhood Maternity with a demi panel and the panel rolls and I'm constantly pulling them up.
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Sophie can now say "more" in sign language. It's so cute to watch her concentrate and put her hands together, fingers facing each other, and requesting "more." I'm bummed I didn't try harder to teach her "baby sign language" when she was younger but now that she is learning it at pre-school she should be able to help with teaching the baby!
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Sophie used the potty three times on Saturday and three times on Sunday! She reverted back to her "old" floor model potty instead of the seat that goes on the toilet but I don't care. She used the POTTY! Please, Lord, let this continue. I'm sick of buying Pull-ups.
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We are still indecisive about a name for Baby # 2. Would you like to weigh in?
Emma Louise (or Louisa for all options) Cann
Emma Louise Johnson
Emma Louise Kelly
Emma Louise Bache
Emma Louise Larson
Emma Louise Marie

October in Review

I think October is my favorite month of the year. Some warm days, some cool days, and some down right cold days that make me long for winter and fires in the fireplace.

I love the changing colors of the trees, snuggling into bed, and the hype of Halloween and those other holidays that follow but seem to be closer and closer each year.

We started the month off with a trip to the Bob Evans Farm Festival in Rio Grande, Ohio. This is an event my family has been involved with for decades and always feels like a homecoming for me. I'm glad I finally got to share this with Phillip and Sophia.

Sophia and I shared time together in the kitchen making cupcakes and decorating them. A multitude of fall and Halloween themed artwork came home from preschool/daycare. We all carved pumpkins and reaped the rewards of roasted pumpkin seeds (the only pumpkin by-product I enjoy!

My only disappointment was trick or treat. First of all, this was the first year we actually dressed Sophia up for Halloween. She did have a duck costume her first year but only wore it for daycare. We didn't take her out for trick or treat-it felt like we would have been begging the candy!

So Sophia got dressed up in her Fire Chief costume and headed out with Phillip down our quiet street. About five minutes later there was a knock and entrance (which scared the crap out of me) into the house. They had returned empty handed. She didn't like the dark and all the dark houses. About ten minutes later Sophie decided to venture out again. And returned shortly there after. I think I was more disappointed then she was. I was disappointed that our street sucks and there wasn't much trick or treat activity, disappointed that she didn't "get" trick or treat and want to adventure to the houses, and maybe disappointed that she didn't get any Reese's cups for me to steal.

I was also disappointed that we only had a total of six trick or treaters at our house! Good thing I love TOOTSIE Rolls! And that I only bought one MEGA bag of them at Target.

Eventually our neighbors stopped by with their adorable Jelly Fish and Pumpkin. He was extremely apologetic that he didn't give us the inside scoop as to where in our neighborhood to take Sophie for Halloween fun.

Oh well, hopefully next year will be better and we'll all venture out in some ridiculously clever family costume. And have enough sugar to rot our teeth!

At any rate, October was great. Enjoy the October slide show.

Toddler Tuesday

I may not get all the housework done in a given weekend but I think I've figured out how to get some help around here!

The Name Game

Now that we know we are having a girl we have to come up with a name. If it were to be a boy this would be a non-conversation. We've had a boy name picked out since before Sophia was even a glimmer in our eyes.

Phillip and I only want to use family names for our children. We have a lot of great, unique names to choose from. The problem with that is that we want to use them all!-Without becoming the next TLC family reality TV show.

We have already determined that our kids will have two middle names so we can get a lot of mileage out of our list of possibilities. But with this kiddo we are having a difficult time agreeing. I have chosen a name that incorporates two names from my side of the family and the second middle name from Phillip's side. It is just noting ringing clear for him.

This morning he called me with a solution: his side first name, my two names, his side THIRD middle name, Brown. Really? Can you see her filling out her college applications and getting a hand cramp? Or carpel tunnel from so much typing.

So how many names is too many?