On my way to work this morning I received a phone call from my husband. It was 7:05 am. "We're a bit cranky this morning, I want to try something."
On the line comes a sweet, tired, tiny, "hello" from Sophia. I tried asking questions-how she slept, if she'd seen Hat (our Elf on the Shelf), if she was going to be good for Papa. She responded with small "yeses" and told me she loved me - "Wuv you too mama."
Great. Phillip came back on the line and I asked "Did she ask for me this morning?" Yes. This was after a night in which we went to sleep in my bed, Phillip tried to move her, she insisted on getting back into bed with me, Phillip was going to sleep on the couch, I convinced her to sleep in her bed with my pillow. And, because I'm on overnight duty in the dorm I won't see her until tomorrow and be gone again tomorrow night.
I was then in tears. I'm sure that's not the outcome Phillip had hoped for. One of us may have felt comforted, but the other feels a heartache greater than you can imagine.
How much income can we live on? Is there another way to manage the joys and sorrows of being a working mother? All I wanted to do was turn the car around and go home to my sweet baby girl. I'm pretty sure she misses me as much as I miss her during the day.