Friday, May 14, 2010

Manners

Manners are a sensitive awareness of the feelings of others. If you have that awareness, you have good manners, no matter which fork you use. ~Emily Post

Phillip and I have been talking about having another kiddo. For most couples deciding on when to start trying to get pregnant and how close or apart to have kids is always a conversation that requires some finesse. If I had it my way I would have each kid two years apart and I'd like to have about four of 'em! But sometimes our bodies, our God, and our pocketbooks have other plans.

To feed my baby craze I have recently found myself lurking and occasionally posting on the baby website TheBump.com. The parent site of The Bump is The Knot. They suck women into their dark and twisty place when we are so bedazzled by our engagement rings we are too awestruck to realize what's happening. You start on The Knot, get hitched and head to The Nest, and then get knocked up and head to The Bump.

Each of the websites feature a "community" section with a large variety of message boards were you can chat about anything. On The Bump the chatter ranges from dinner, gay/lesbian parenting, infertility issues, toddlers, eco-parenting, trying to get pregnant, etc. etc. etc. The point of the forums is to have a place to talk and connect with other women like you-women with the same issues, challenges, fears, disappointments, and successes. It is a place to be heard and share your story. When I was pregnant for the first time I too turned to the community forums. If you are smart you take others advice with a grain of salt but generally the conversation was helpful and supportive. I don't know what has changed in two years but the women I've encountered on there recently are just plain bitches.

For example a woman posted on there today about coming off birth control, not getting her period, negative home pregnancy tests, seeing her dr., getting prescribed a drug to kick start her cycle, and then testing positive for pregnancy today. She was taken aback by the positive test and the unfolding of her cycle. She was excited about what was happening. Then come the comments on the forum. "You should be posting on 1st Tri though, the women here are still TTC." and "No offense, but I don't think you really know how your body works." Jeez louise! So snarky. The newly pregnant lady just found out she was pregnant and wanted to share her story. She doesn't need people biting her head off because she was confused about her cycle. And this example was very tame compared to some of the drama you can witness on there!

I think I'm going to have to deactivate my account. The world doesn't need anymore rude people and they are festering on The Bump.

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