Plans

"The best laid plans of mice and men often go astray." -Robert Burns
"If you want to make God laugh tell him your plans."
"A journey is a person in itself; no two are alike. And all plans, safeguards, policing, and coercion are fruitless. We find that after years of struggle that we do not take a trip; a trip takes us."-John Steinbeck

I'm sure I could find a million quotes about plans, planning, and plans that go vastly different from how WE plan our day or our life. Which ever one I choose to sum up this feeling of "nothing going as we planned" would be the perfect quote. Because really, nothing ever does happen exactly as we plan.

On my wedding day (which for most women we plan to a meticulous T) the priest forgot that a friend of mine was going to sing during communion. There she stood ready to belt out "All the Beauty of the Earth" and then not a note.

We were trying to buy a house this year but a multitude of factors stood in our way and here we are renting again.

And imagine my surprise on the morning of July 4, when Phillip woke me up and I casually told him "I'm going to pee on a stick. I haven't gotten my period yet." With about as much excitement as "I'm going to go buy a gallon of milk." I assumed I was late because of stress of finding a new place to live, anticipating gall bladder surgery in a few weeks. So imagine my extreme surprise when the blinking timer on the digital pregnancy test suddenly flashed to "pregnant."

June was the one month we hadn't been actively pursuing pregnancy. January-May we tried, I charted my temperatures, I prayed to become pregnant. And each month I was disappointed by the arrival of my period or a negative pregnancy test. In June we didn't stop trying but I let my guard down. I stopped charting mid-month. Stopped obsessing about it. Stopped thinking of what I was doing right or wrong and stopped trying. Well surprise, surprise.

My first thought wasn't excitement though. I cried, scared to death because a few weeks prior I went to the emergency room for extreme stomach pain and learned I have gall stones. They doped me up with dilaudid, a heavy duty pain medication. Then I had several rounds of antibiotics, a prescription for pain medication in case of another attack and I didn't eat for 28 hours. When then asked me in the hospital if I was or could possibly be pregnant I brushed it off with a nonchalant "I don't think so."

Next was shock. I really couldn't believe it. Since my miscarriage in October 2009 I've been a bit freaked out that I would have problems getting pregnant. Irrational, I know, but I also know more friends that are dealing with IF and it scares me.

I am eager to call my OB tomorrow and the Dr. who is scheduled to remove my gall bladder. I want to make sure my casual response in the hospital didn't harm the baby inside me. Then I'm eager to call my parents and siblings!

Now, it is 5 weeks later. I'm 10 weeks along....

Health and Nutrition

When we started Sophia on solid foods I was very particular about when, how, and what to feed her. Our family doctor encouraged us to breastfeed as long as possible and family and friends where surprised to hear that the doctor recommended exclusively breastfeeding for a year before introducing her to solids of any sort. I was successful for eight months. Due to a variety of factors my milk supply was plummeting, Sophie was exhibiting signs of wanting to start solids and we thought it was time too. So over Christmas vacation she had her first bite of "real" food-organic sweet potatoes and organic bananas. She went zero to sixty on solids and sixty to zero on breast milk. There was no gradual weaning off the breast but more like a sudden stop.

The world of solid foods was exciting and scary. This generation of parents has so much to think about when it comes to feeding their family-organic or not, homemade or prepared and packaged, allergies and intolerances. I knew/know I am not a great eater-I try but not hard enough. I loved to eat kettle chips and DQ Blizzards during my pregnancy! But I was/am determined to teach my daughter and thus myself and family better eating habits.

I made all of Sophie's first foods. Picking up fresh and often organic veggies from the grocery store or farmer's market, cooking, pureeing, freezing little cubes of sweet potatoes, collard greens, macaroni and peas with cheese dishes, mango, avocados. Many things I wouldn't have touched with a ten-foot pole! Now that Sophie is older I still try to balance her meals with vegetables, fruit, dairy, whole grains, limited fats, protein, and limited sugar.

Being a toddler her palate fluctuates in terms of what she "likes" or "doesn't like" and that more depends on her disposition that day than what she is actually responding to taste wise! Last week I found this article on MSNBC about restaurant offerings for the under 5 set. It is a helpful list of "eat this, not that" especially as many of us gear up to hit the road this summer on family vacation. It was eye opening to see the fat and calories in some of the seemingly "safe" choices.

Meanwhile in my quest for healthy, family friendly meals I found this blog.

Additionally, if you read Parent's Magazine a new monthly column called Simple Suppers featuring the minimalist Mark Bittman who wrote How to Cook Everything. (My copy of the book is splattered with oil, water, flour, and other kitchen stains from so much use!

If you are looking for a non-restaurant easy to travel and eat option. I suggest Sprout Foods. They are purees that even my toddler will eat, come in a resealable pouch, don't need to be refrigerated or heated and boost balanced nutrition and organic components. We also love Buddy Fruit for an on the go, easy to eat, mess free fruity treat.

Happy and Healthy Eating!

A good babysitter is hard to come by

Since my husband works in a high school we have a handful of babysitters at our disposal. During the summer while he facilitates several weeks of summer camp we opt to take Sophie out of her regular daycare and keep her at home with a sitter. We usually have a handful of young women who know Sophie, have babysat her before, and are looking for steady summer work. This year I think we have hit the jackpot!

Sophie's new sitter has babysat for us one other time. She came early, wrote down everything they did and ate over the two or three hours we were gone. Phillip and I were impressed. The only flub was that she put Sophie's diaper on backwards. An interesting feat on a kid that weights 32lbs. and squirms during diaper changes.

Sunday we invited her over to the house to review the weekly routine, eating, napping, playtime, diapering. I prepared a daily routine info sheet and emergency contacts for her just in case.

She arrived 20 minutes early. When I returned home she presented me with a detailed list of everything they did that day complete with times-breakfast, riding the tricycle, books, clean up time, nap, snacks, Elmo. I went to Sophie's room to change her diaper and was caught off guard when the door was shut. I walked in and was shocked. I asked if Phillip had cleaned Sophie's room before he left for work. He denied it. Our babysitter cleaned Sophie's room. Her room is the one space I don't mind being a bit out of sorts because it is where all her toys are. Her room hasn't been this clean since before she was born!


She brought us homemade chocolate chip cookies. There were no dirty dishes to wash and no clean dishes to put away. No wonder people have nannies!

The accidental garden

This has nothing to do with kids. It has to do with my accidental garden.

Phillip is the green thumb of the Brown household. Tending to several indoor plants with TLC, plant fertilizer made out of fish (ewww) but high in nutrients. Our outdoor plants are sometimes deliberate, sometimes not.

We have a hard time throwing out potted plants after their prime. Preferring instead to trim back the wilted growth, let the bulb lie dormant and see what happens next year. It seems this is our luck this year.

Last year we had a small patch of herbs off the deck. Two types of parsley, oregano, basil, and rosemary. We used all of the basil. The parsley grew and grew and grew and eventually had to be trimmed back. After the harsh winter it appeared nothing was left. We never used the oregano. To our delight and surprise the parsley and oregano has grown back and reseeded itself in my two planters that once housed inpatients.

I was pleasantly surprised by purple iris that I have no recollection of every owning as bulbs or planting. And just yesterday an Easter Lilly that Phillip must have given me three or four Easter's ago has bloomed yet again.

Our biggest surprise? The pumpkin that is growing in a planter we have used for tomatoes and basil and has rich composted soil. I think when cleaning out our utility room last year we came across open seeds and on a whim tossed them into the planter. I guess we won't have to visit the pumpkin patch this year!

Scary parenting moments, Part 1

Being a parent is no doubt the most difficult job in the world. Yet millions of us embark on this journey with no experience at first, little to no training, no manual, and a boss that is much younger than us, and also has no experience being a boss.

When we were kids we challenged our parents everyday. Sometimes the challenge was willing them to allow us to eat a Popsicle even thought we didn't eat our dinner. Other times the challenges were much more difficult and demanding.

When I was 18 or 19 I took a fly-fishing class during summer vacation with a dear friend of mine. We loved it because:
a) we are women
b)the instructors were older and men
c)the instructors liked us because we showed up to every class and every day at the water
d)we fished with the instructors as extra-curricular activities and finally,
e) we learned how to smoke cigars.

(Warning: Cliche coming)Shortly after this learning experience we decided we were going to take a two week vacation across the country to Montana to "fish the great rivers" a la Brad Pitt in A River Runs Through It. Our parents were skeptical and hesitant. We didn't really have a plan because we didn't know how much we could/wanted to drive each day. But we knew we wanted to drive Route 2 on the Northern edge of the state and fish The Blackfoot River. We made a rough itinerary and reassured them that we would call several times. Keep in mind we were 20 when we took this trip. Long story short; our parents finally accepted we were going to do this with or without their consent. We made it to our destination and back. Had a great time and would do it again tomorrow, and never caught a single fish but have ooodles of great memories.

Today our trip is little bits compared to the teenager who is attempting to sail around the world ALONE. She is 16. Yesterday news reports said she had lost contact and feared dead. Her parents worst nightmare coming true. I can only imagine them second guessing their decision to let her attempt this feat even though she had all of the training, will, smarts, gear, etc. needed to accomplish this incredible journey. Today reports state that she is alive and well. Her boat is damaged a bit but still sea worthy.

Like I said parenting is the most difficult job in the world. For my parents it was trusting me enough to drive across the country, for the California teens parents, it was trusting their daughter could sail around the world, for us, now, it's trusting that our daughter won't fall down the stairs on the deck. None of it easy but part of our job description.

Happiness is a happy child

I want to press rewind and play on yesterday-over and over and over again until I've played it so much the tape breaks where the film is worn.

I picked Sophie up from Phillip in the afternoon because he had to attend a meeting. Sophie was excited to see me, greeted me with hugs and a kiss. We drove home talking about cows and horses as we passed by the many farms in our neck of the woods. We talked about seeing Doodle and playing on the porch. Together we sang "Twinkle Twinkle Little Star" and I wowed her with "Row Row your Boat" and my amended version of "Bringing Home a Baby Bumble Bee."

When we checked the mailbox there was a letter and Elmo stickers from Aunt Mimi. We used three sheets of stickers in less than five minutes. I have since hidden two of the sheets so we have some to enjoy later.

We made dinner. Without prompting Sophie snatched her salad bowl off the counter and carefully carried it out to the deck table. She came back in to help bring out place mats and napkins. She ate most all of her dinner after eating part of an apple, 1/2 of a fruit cup, one chocolate Easter egg, and a piece of cheese. She didn't spill anything by accident or intentionally. After dinner she asked to get down from her chair and played on the deck while Phillip and I talked about our day at work. Then Sophie returned to the table to help bring the dishes inside. She delicately juggled my empty wine glass and the tub of Parmesan cheese across the deck, up the stair, into the house and to the counter.

She accepted that she needed a bath. We showered and she scrubbed herself and washed her hair. Jammies, hair combed, and teeth brushed.

We read several books in her room and then it was time for night night. Kisses and hugs all around. We had an evening of play, love, cooperation, helping, no tantrums or out bursts. Pure joy. And only two blood curdling screams when we left her room and closed the door. Nothing is truly perfect!

Nothing says summer like Ice Cream

I love ice cream. I find myself liking flavors I used to balk at - chocolate chip cookie dough, cookies and cream and when it has real vanilla beans, I'll even eat vanilla, even though I like to think of myself as a chocolate purist.

The first summer we lived in this house we were spoiled by an old suburban treat...the Ice Cream Truck. Our lady would drive around nearly every other night, Phillip and I would empty our coin jars and rush out to greet the truck playing its whimsical music. It was such a treat and reward after suffering through breastfeeding and the trials and tribulations of being new parents. Last summer was no different.

This year is exciting because we get to share the joy and excitement of "The Ice Cream Lady" with Sophia. But the few times I've heard the chimes of "The Saints Go Marching In" in the near distance the tune quickly faded as she traveled in the opposite direction of our house. Last weekend I ripped Sophie out of her bed post nap as if the house was on fire in eager anticipation of Ice Cream only to be avoided yet again and then the rain started. Tonight however, I was on a mission to find her.

I jumped in the car and headed towards the magical sound of familiar songs. Same truck, new lady. She didn't know to come down our street. She won't make that mistake again! So now we are "fat and happy" with Radical Rainbow Push Up Pop (Sophie), Chocolate Eclair (Mama) and Orange Cream (Papa) in our bellies. Our sticky fingers are clean, the fireflies are dancing, and the Ice Cream Lady knows where to go.

Empahty

I have succeeded as a parent. I figured out how to breastfeed, I learned not to gag on impulse at puke and poo, I have tried new foods and feed (most of the time) my daughter a balanced and nutritious diet. But the real test of parenthood? Teaching EMPATHY.

For a quick sophomore year refresher courtesy of Merriam Webster online: Empathy: the action of understanding, being aware of, being sensitive to, and vicariously experiencing the feelings, thoughts, and experience of another of either the past or present without having the feelings, thoughts, and experience fully communicated in an objectively explicit manner; also : the capacity for this.

On Saturday my husband labored through putting together a porch swing for us to enjoy. As with most “disposable” furniture the craftsmanship isn’t the highest quality and there were missing washers and a screw that broke off in one of the support rods upon tightening. Phillip went in search of replacement parts, Sophie and I sat on the swing, on the porch, before it was set into the overhead support bar. One of the side supports was delicately in place but not fastened. With a shift of our bodies on the swing, the support bar came crashing down into the back of my head. It hurt. I don’t think I swore out in pain but it was visible that I hurt and was in pain. Sophie quickly stopped what she was doing and in her adorable two-year old voice asked “Okay? Okay?” with an inspiring look of concern on her face. “Ouch.” I said rubbing my head. “Okay? Okay?” she asked again. Yes, I was okay. It appears that just as a magical mommy kiss to a child’s hand or knee erases the pain of their fall so does an empathetic “okay” from the mouth of a babe heals our pain too.

Random

I'm sick and tired of buying diapers. I hate spending money on them. I hate putting the box in the cart. I hate throwing them out. We've wobbled back and forth between disposable and our Bum Genius cloth diapers but to make the BGs work okay I have to stuff them with two inserts. It makes for a thick diaper but Sophie doesn't mind. But she is at the top of the weight limit for the BGs and they still leak even with two inserts. Not happy.
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Potty training. She needs to get with the program. I wonder if I bought a potty training seat insert if she would be more interested in trying to use the potty. We have a potty like this (no lid) and she sits on it for one second at a time and then congratulates herself. I don't think so kid.
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Hair cut? I go through phases with my hair. Short, long, Locks of Love, short, long, short, I want a wig. Sophie's hair is a hot mess. It is super nappy after a long nights sleep or even a nap. Has taken forever (okay, two years) to get to the "length" it is now, and the disheveled mess makes me want to trim it up a bit. I was going to do this in the tub tonight (even ready to call my niece who is a hair dresser for pointers) but my husband talked me out of it. "You always want to cut it, cut it (talking about my own hair) and remember when you got mad at your mom for cutting your hair short in the second grade?" He begged and pleaded for me to leave it alone. I did.
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Sophie likes to look at my breasts. I often wear v-neck shirts so access is easy. She pulls the shirt away from my body, looks in, and says "booboo" "my booboo" "mine." We'll I guess they were yours for eight months but now they are all mine sister. Do your kids (especially if they were breastfed) still like to look at your ta-tas? I may have to start wearing a turtleneck.
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Babies. A good friend and my cousin are both with child. It's a bittersweet time in my heart. I was pregnant right along with them back in late September/early October. My work friend came to me, closed the door, sat down. I looked at her and said she must be quitting or she's pregnant. My cousin and I spoke on the phone and shared our secrets with each other like we kids in pigtails again. We were finally going to be pregnant together! (She has two girls already and we made a pact at our weddings {which were two weeks apart} to be pregnant together, some pact;) My cousin had her baby, a boy, today. And my friend will hopefully go into labor any day now. She did eat a lot of pineapple at lunch! My heart swells with emotion. A twinge of sadness for me and my husband knowing that we too should have been rounding out the third trimester now but also happiness and excitement for these two boys entering the world. I can't wait to squish the tiny ones (gently, of course.)

Vegas, baby!

Just because that's what we all say doesn't mean we should do it. Vegas, baby is just a phrase, not an invitation.

I recently went on holiday with my mom and sisters to Las Vegas. We just wanted a time to be together, enjoy each others company now that we are adults and don't hate each other. So off to Vegas we went. My parent go to Vegas frequently and my dad and grandpa used to take a trip there together every fall. For as long as I can recall them taking these trips they have always stayed at the Golden Nugget in downtown Las Vegas. It's "old Vegas" and just my style. Not too busy, not too trendy, and not too expensive. All in all we had a great time. Didn't come back with any extra money but a lot of memories.

I've been to Vegas one other time before I was married and had a kid. I don't recall seeing many kids that first time out. But I'm sure I was self absorbed and only thinking about me. This trip I saw kids all over the place. In the restaurants, at the pool, in the casinos, on Freemont Street at 10:30pm and later. Infants, toddlers, kids. All over the place! In the casinos full of smoke and liquor and breasts and skimpy clothes. What fun is a casino for a kid? Vegas is not on our list of family vacations until the kids are at least 21.

Manners

Manners are a sensitive awareness of the feelings of others. If you have that awareness, you have good manners, no matter which fork you use. ~Emily Post

Phillip and I have been talking about having another kiddo. For most couples deciding on when to start trying to get pregnant and how close or apart to have kids is always a conversation that requires some finesse. If I had it my way I would have each kid two years apart and I'd like to have about four of 'em! But sometimes our bodies, our God, and our pocketbooks have other plans.

To feed my baby craze I have recently found myself lurking and occasionally posting on the baby website TheBump.com. The parent site of The Bump is The Knot. They suck women into their dark and twisty place when we are so bedazzled by our engagement rings we are too awestruck to realize what's happening. You start on The Knot, get hitched and head to The Nest, and then get knocked up and head to The Bump.

Each of the websites feature a "community" section with a large variety of message boards were you can chat about anything. On The Bump the chatter ranges from dinner, gay/lesbian parenting, infertility issues, toddlers, eco-parenting, trying to get pregnant, etc. etc. etc. The point of the forums is to have a place to talk and connect with other women like you-women with the same issues, challenges, fears, disappointments, and successes. It is a place to be heard and share your story. When I was pregnant for the first time I too turned to the community forums. If you are smart you take others advice with a grain of salt but generally the conversation was helpful and supportive. I don't know what has changed in two years but the women I've encountered on there recently are just plain bitches.

For example a woman posted on there today about coming off birth control, not getting her period, negative home pregnancy tests, seeing her dr., getting prescribed a drug to kick start her cycle, and then testing positive for pregnancy today. She was taken aback by the positive test and the unfolding of her cycle. She was excited about what was happening. Then come the comments on the forum. "You should be posting on 1st Tri though, the women here are still TTC." and "No offense, but I don't think you really know how your body works." Jeez louise! So snarky. The newly pregnant lady just found out she was pregnant and wanted to share her story. She doesn't need people biting her head off because she was confused about her cycle. And this example was very tame compared to some of the drama you can witness on there!

I think I'm going to have to deactivate my account. The world doesn't need anymore rude people and they are festering on The Bump.

Should have listened to mom...

I think most kids are encouraged and even forced to take some sort of musical instruction as kids. I took piano lessons for years. I loved playing the simple Christmas songs that only required the notes GBDFA (Good Boys Do Fine Always) and FACE and something about Cows eating grass. But when it came to the more complex songs I struggled. I struggled because having to practice everyday was such a chore. I hated to practice. I regret it to this day and should have listened to my mother.

In college I came back to my "musical roots" and took guitar lessons. I used my grandfathers old Sears guitar that I nicknamed Stubby Stella. I called her this because the guitar featured a half fret at the top and was shorter than most standard guitars. Every Thursday I would trek down the alley to Blue Eagle Music in Athens, OH and took an hour long lesson from an old hippie named Ethan in the basement of the store. He taught me classics such as Green Sneeze (aka Greensleeves) and Lynard Skynard's Simple Man as a waft of his cigarette smoke danced around my head. I loved taking these lessons but still had no musical talent.

Phillip's kinfolk used to have bluegrass jam sessions at Christmastime. Banjos, dulcimers, guitars, fiddles all banging out harmonious notes. It is one of his fondest memories of his grandparents and aunts and uncles. I bought him a fiddle for Christmas one year. It now is tucked away in a closet mostly unused.

So my question is this: Does Sophie have a chance? I regret that Phillip and I don't have any musical fortitude. I love acoustic music and organic jam sessions. I love all sorts of music. But can she develop musical talent even if it's not in her "genes"? I am envious and amazed at the latest YouTube sensation and wonder if perhaps one day Sophie could be an over night success as well.

To sleep or not to sleep

Google "sleep facts" and you will no doubt have an onslaught of results. One quickly caught my eye with it's teaser info.

"A new baby typically results in 400-750 hours lost sleep for parents in the first year!" Found on Hibermate.com

That's a lot of lost sleep! Toddlers need between 14-15 hours of sleep a day. But getting a child to sleep-yeah, there don't seem to be a lot of "facts" on that. I've done a lot of "research" on this topic - Google searches, asking friends with kids, reading baby forums, talking to my mom and mother-in-law. If only we could teach kids at the tender age of two that they WANT to sleep now because it is a precious commodity when they are older the world world would be a happier place.

We are still having problems getting Sophie to go to sleep. I follow the rules: bath, jammies, brush teeth, soft light, blinds closed, story (or four), hugs and kisses, into the bed. And each night it's the same. Even though she is practically jumping out of my arms and into the bed-she screams when she gets in there.

"Green, green." She shouts, indicating she wants the green blanket. And then the fuzzy new blanket Gramma made her, or the blanket I knit her. "Pillow, pillow." She wants the other pillow. "Doodle, doodle." Meaning she wants another stuffed dog to sleep with. I really don't put up with this long. I tell her I love her, give her another kiss, and make my exit. The screaming and crying continues. Breaks my heart every night. I just want to put her down with a hug and a kiss and have her peacefully drift to sleep. But that's not my lot.

Two nights ago we went to check on her before we went to bed and she was sideways in the crib, blankets askew, feet dangling out between the bed slats. Last night she cried and talked to herself for 45 minutes! And when I heard a banging sound over the sound of the tv I sent the husband in to check on her. She was sideways again and kicking the bed and it reverberated against the wall. Tonight cries and sounds of "MAMA" continued as I got in the shower. Post shower I hear her talking to herself. "No, no, no-no." Who knows.

Luckily nine and a half times out of ten when she is finally asleep she sleeps the whole night through. I guess I've just got to pick my battles.

Mother's Day

Extract from To My Mother

Because I feel that, in the Heavens above,
The angels, whispering to one another,
Can find, among their burning terms of love,
None so devotional as that of 'Mother,'
Therefore by that dear name I long have called you...

-Edgar Allen Poe

I believe that Mother's Day should be celebrated even before the unborn child makes his debut. The work, pain, suffering, joy, compassion, and care of a mother begins well before the birthday of the expected child.

I also believe that Day only gets better with each passing year. My first official Mother's Day was not filled with warmth, an outpouring of gratitude, or breakfast in bed. I recall wanting the day to quickly pass by. I had been a mother for about three weeks. I was exhausted, frustrated, and sad. I remember Sophie not sleeping well the previous night. Because most mother's spend the first month or so awake when they should be sleeping the smallest things upset you and thinking rationally doesn't come easy. I remember screaming and crying because Sophie wouldn't go back to sleep after nursing. I think we both felt miserable. The cards I received from family and friends brought me to tears because I didn't feel worthy of the praise. But now I realize that's just all part of the process and part of what makes us mothers so damn tough.

Last year I received my first Mother's Day card from Sophie and I still look at it from time to time-written in a hybrid of her and her father's handwriting. Sweet, gentle, loving. And this year I have matured even more in my motherhood. Sure, not every day is full of roses, sunshine and puppies but the good out number the bad and I have learned, somewhat, how to ignore the tantrums and I'm learning to roll with the punches.

But now because Sophie can speak and walk and understand, there is no doubt she loves me. I love her soft kisses on my cheek and the hugs around my knees. Her affection and needing me is enough of a gift. Maybe I should have realized that when she was but three weeks old she wasn't trying to deprive me of sleep but give me a gift...her needing me and wanting me close.

I can only imagine with more years and hopefully more children Mother's Day continues to evolve and be a day I will always look forward to.

Happy Mother's Day!

One of those nights

Oy vey. This is a much deserved glass of wine.

Sophie came home from daycare demanding juice, water, to look in the cabinet. (Presumably for the forbidden binkie.) She was saying no, disobeying us at every chance, standing on the chair at the dinner table. Threw a pen at me. And then when I took a frozen waffle out of the freezer and she demanded that and I demanded to heat it up (duh) another tantrum ensued. That was the camel that broke the straws back...I mean the straw the broke the camel's back. (Told you it was a good glass of wine;)

Phillip set up the time out chair in the corner. What did I do? Laugh. That nervous, trying to keep a straight face laugh. I'm not handling the discipline portion of parenting very well. I know she shouldn't say NO to us. But when she says it in a mischievous toothy grin sort of way-how can I reprimand her for that? It's just so cute. And wrong.

Oh heaven help me. How am I going to survive all of the future discipline issues we will surely face?

You are what you eat

Food is a topic that most people enjoy. What to cook, how to prepare it, food philosophies, the good the bad, the delicious, and the putrid. Not Raising Brats author and reporter, Hillary, inquired about what her readers eat and feed their children. This topic is one I am passionate about and I didn't feel I should write a blog post in the "brats" comment section. So here is my response.

I will start by saying I am not a great role model. A picky eater that has vowed to learn to try new things-and been successful at it in some cases. I come from a midwestern, steak and potatoes and snacking family. I swore up and down I didn't like potatoes for about twenty years. Then when my chef brother made roasted redskin potatoes for me I changed my tune. I like them baked, fried, roasted, sauteed, mashed, with garlic, and learning to eat sweet potatoes.

When my daughter Sophia was born I was bound and determined NOT to take her down my wayward path of poor eating habits. I breastfed for eight months and started solids at eight months. The first food in her mouth was organic bananas-hand smashed by me, not Gerber.
I bought, boiled, and pureed organic sweet potatoes and smushed organic avocados. Being a spring baby I delighted in going to the farmer's market each Saturday looking for a new fruit or vegetable to try.

I still try to live by the "Super Baby Food" cookbook which easily and in detail lays out why and how you should make your own baby food. It talks about cost savings (a bonus for any budget conscience parent-even when buying Organic!) and nutritional value of the plethora of fruits and vegetables available to use fresh and frozen. I made my own rice cereal, frozen dinners, and Popsicles. For the skeptical, let me share that I live an hour from work if the traffic isn't bad and I could still mange to make time to make the food. I was even in Target the other day ogling a woman's four-month old baby in the baby food aisle and told her about the "Super Baby Food" cookbook!

Now that Sophie is two and eats "big people food" I try to include the following in each meal. Dairy, fruit, whole grains, protein, vegetables. So for lunch today we had a Boca Chicken patty, strawberries and some Snikiddy cheese puffs. (They are made with whole grains.) I do worry she doesn't get enough of this or that but for the most part I think we are on the right track. She loves fruit, has decided drinking milk isn't all that bad, enjoys water now so she isn't drinking as much juice and when we do snack I give her very small portions and try to make it something healthy.

I am gearing up to train for a 1/2 marathon so my wayward habits will have to disappear. I'm a much better eater in the spring and summer because I love the summer fruit varieties. But as I continue my quest to teach Sophie how to eat I am also willing to try new things. It doesn't mean I have to like it.

Potty Training *Warning* I'm talking about elimination here-pee & poop

I was so excited the first time Sophie used the potty, she was 21 months old and we were ahead of the curve! We have had the potty since she was about 18 months. It was easy to tell when she was having a "movement" and the next logical step to us was get a potty, put her on it, stop having her crouch in the poop corner.

She pushed her potty around the house, put toys in it, sat on it like a chair, returned it to its place of honor in the bathroom. The first time she actually used it she was mid-poop when I went to change her diaper so I scooped her up, set her on the potty and she finished her business. We both smiled and clapped! Put the potty in the big people's potty, flushed it away, washed our hands and commenced to mark this historic occasion with a butterfly sticker on the potty calendar.

As you can see there were only a few successes in January but they were successes nonetheless. We rolled into February.

Not many more attempts and successes than January but still she earned some stickers. We traveled early in the month and brought the potty with but then were hit by the Blizzard of 2010 so it's not surprising her "trying" got off kilter.
And then March came:

Spring has sprung! Look at all of those butterfly stickers! She was a potty champ. "You'll use the poooootttttyyyyy." Just like Elmo sings in "Elmo's Pottytime" video. We were on our way. I bought less diapers, bought pull ups, encouraged her to use the potty. We traveled again in March, toted the potty with, she used it all week. Even though she became constipated. She peed in the potty. I was a proud mama knowing I was potty training before age 2!

And then came April.

Nothing. Nada. No Dice. Zero. Zip.

She sits on the potty with CLOTHES on. Stands up. Claps. Congratulates herself with a hearty "Yea!" but has accomplished nothing. She loves her diapers. Hates the pull ups. I have no idea what gives or what to do. We use the potty together but she has nothing to show for it. I only have frustration.

Any suggestions? What has worked for your toddler?

Sophie turns TWO

Whoops...guess I've been busy or neglectful. Better start bloggin'

Yesterday was Sophie's Second Birthday. We've been celebrating her birthday for about a month now. We had the "official" party in Ohio in March. This past weekend we went to the Udvar-Hazy Center which is an extension of The National Air and Space Museum. Sophie is all about "panes" and things that fly so the museum was a perfect place to spend the day. She loved looking at all of the planes and helicopters.

Tuesday, April 20, her actual birthday was full of sugar. I took the krispiest Rice Krispie treats to work to share with my co-workers, sent Sophie to daycare with chocolate suckers to share with her crew, and rushed home from work to make cupcakes. Her birthday will always include Rice Krispie treats because they are literally the first thing I ate after delivering Sophie. Mom had brought some to the hospital for sustenance through the night/day, and while the nurses were still cleaning me up I asked if I could eat something and when she said yes I demanded a Rice Krispie treat from mom!

We went to watch "ball pole" (a.k.a. lacrosse) and then out to dinner. Bedtime for everyone came about 9:30p.m. Needless to say I was exhausted.

This evening we did cupcakes and presents and will open even more later this week when care packages arrive from North Carolina. It's the birthday that will never end!

In the course of one year Sophie has learned to:
Stand
Walk
Run
Talk
Potty train (well, sorta-that post comes tomorrow)
Sit at the table (okay-kneel or stand) sans high chair

She says: Mama, Papa, Doodle, chair, table, dinner, blue blue (blueberries), tee (teeth), chee (cheese), night night, pane (plane), ball poll, shoe, boot, baby, geen (green, her blanket) and a variety of other words. Just this weekend started putting two words together like No, Papa. Not in a scolding way but a factual way as in Papa isn't here.

She is about 35" and 35lbs. Loves to give hugs and kisses and hates separating from us to go to bed. Here is a year in review in pictures.

Sophie Smiles

I love Hall & Oats. I don't own any of their albums but anytime I hear one of their songs and realize who it is I realize I love Hall & Oats. Country singer, Jimmy Wayne, has recently covered
"Sara Smiles" by Hall & Oats. In my head though, I've changed the lyric to Sophie Smiles...

Sarah Smiles by Hall & Oats

Baby hair with a woman's eyes
I can feel you're watching in the night
All alone with me and we're waiting for the sunlight
When I feel cold, you warm me
And when I feel I can't go on, you come and hold me
It's you... And me forever

Sara Smile
Won't you smile a while for me
Sara

Language Acquisition

In college I took several hours in Linguistics. I actually took enough hours to get a certificate in linguistics but unfortunately it was before the program was a certified certification program so no gold star on my transcript or diploma for that! All that sentence diagramming for nothing!

I love learning about language and how our words are shaped and why our words are what they are. Often when I'm daydreaming I'll think about different words and what they really mean. Refrigerator has always held a particularly interesting spot in my brain. Some days it just sounds so weird to me. Re-fridge-er-a-tor. Weird. I wonder why we call the refrigerator a refrigerator and not a clock. Why a desk is called a desk...and on and on.

So as Sophie learns new words and meanings for things I am amazed at her language acquisition skills. One day she can only point to what she wants and the next day she has a word for it. For example our after bath routine usually includes Jean Nate (3 syllables Jean Na Te) after bath splash which I roll off my tongue with my best french accent. To Sophie this became "nah nah nah." She can correctly say and identify a car, train, and plane but mistakenly calls all trucks and motorcycles Trains or choo choos.

What is frustrating in this new phase of "semantic development" are the words I can't yet identify. Last night she kept saying "goo goo"-perhaps for the noodles I was preparing? But when I pointed to the noodles that didn't satisfy her need for me to understand "goo goo." On the drive home today she stumped me with "halla." Like she was saying "holla back..." Again, no clue. There are often times I have to ask for a definition from Phillip on new words but he doesn't have answers either.

So each day we will continue to learn and break her codes. For now though, I'll say "ni ni." Sophiease for "night, night."