Tantrums

Earlier this week Michelle, of Not Raising Brats, shared with her faithful readers a tantrum of epic proportions that Peanut displayed. She queried her readers to share our toddler's tantrums. I have a "favorite" but then I'm in need of your real advice of how to handle our daily, hourly tantrums that Sophie is throwing. It's not pretty.

The best one yet.

A few weeks ago, post nap, we headed to Target and Lowe's to look for a crib and paint for the girls' room. We generally peruse the toy aisles to look at and touch all the mechanical toys in their plastic display boxes. I was scoping out cribs while Phillip and Sophie looked at the toys. Next stop was the home storage section. While discussing what types of bins we needed to buy Sophie was asking for some sort of ladybug toy. We told her no, not today. Then she demanded to get out of the cart. I let her out and she continued to ask about the toy. When told no again she started to show out, cry, and get angry. We both tried to "reason" with her, explain that we weren't buying toys today and calm her down. This of course made her irate. If memory serves me right she may have started kicking and screaming and trying to escape my grasp. This elevated. I picked her up and told her she needed to behave or we were going home. I'm pretty sure "No! NO! Go Home!" was bellowed from her tiny mouth. At this point the looks started. This fit was going to be big. Kicking and screaming and yelling I viced her crossways across my chest (mind you I'm 37 weeks pregnant at this time too!) and we go marching towards the exit. This trip is officially over. I'm half a football field ahead of Phillip. We get outside, she is still kicking and screaming, I'm doing everything I can to hold on to her, Crocs go flying off her feet and she is now INVERTED in my arms, head down, nearly ready to fall...onto the concrete. The looks from some Target employees on a smoke break were amusing. I'm sure they were trying to figure out if they should intervene, call DSS, or the cops. Phillip rescued me, grabbed the wailing kid and finished the march to the car. About half way home she simmered down and was her normal, generally delightful self. Holy shit that was some tantrum.

Now the daily tantrums.

For the past few weeks tantrums have turned into a daily event. There are a few things I know:
1. She is a toddler. She is 2 years and 10 months old. Tantrums are part of who she is right now.
2. She has been sick. Stomach flu and strep. Still not back 100%.
3. Her life is about to dramatically change. She's getting a sibling.

Here is what is so frustrating. The tantrums are over everything and nothing. She opened the silverware drawer the other day. We closed it. She had a fit.

Phillip had to pump gas. She wanted to get out of the car. He didn't let her. Screaming the whole time he pumped gas, screamed the whole drive home, refused to come in the house, out of the rain, finally came in the house and laid down kicking and screaming.

This morning she wanted milk. She didn't like the cup I choose. Tantrum.

Last week we went to Michael's. She was happy as could be the drive there. Playing with her sunglasses in the back seat, being silly. Once I went to get her out of her seat she started kicking and screaming. Kicked her juice cup out of the cup holder, kicked my coffee cup out of the holder spilling the sludge out of the cup all over the floorboards. No reason what-so-ever for the fit. Just a tantrum.

And she generally fights us on daily tasks. Getting up, getting dressed, brushing hair and teeth, taking her medicine. She wants to control everything and if she doesn't have it her way she has a fit.

We are so frustrated with these tantrums. They are frustrating for her and frustrating for us. We are at the point where we don't know if we are overreacting to her fits, if this is all normal, or if there is something more going on. It is bound to deteriorate our relationship as husband and wife because we are so stressed by her behavior that trying to deal with it is straining our communication and behavior with one another.

We have a doctor's appointment today to have them help shed light on the situation.

Where is my cape?

Watch out Superman, here comes a mom.

Holy macamoni (as Sophie would say) this has been some week.

Thursday I was feeling optimistic. I headed to work, ready for a day of training the guy filling in for me while I'm on leave, catching up on three days worth of work since I was out sick, pick Sophie up in the eventing. La di da. I casually kidded that now that all was well with the sickness at our house I guess the baby could make her appearance. At 1:41p.m. on Thursday I got a call from the daycare. Sophie had crapped up the back again. Crap.

Our daycare lady had cleaned Sophie up as best she could and it took her about 40 minutes to do that but Sophie really needed a bath and they legally can't give her one because of privacy issues, and if she has diarrhea then she needs to be home anyways. Crap.

I packed up and headed home. Daycare also recommended keeping Sophie out of daycare for 24 hours to limit the spread of more germs.

I got her home and into the bathtub. She fought me every step of the way. Plastering herself to the back of the tub where I couldn't really reach her if I tried, fighting not to have her hair washed, fighting not to have a bath at all. So I hoisted my 1/2 naked, 37 week pregnant body into the water to get her clean. Then of course, she didn't want to get out. Once she finally calmed down we got out, dried off, and headed to the grocery store for Popsicles. She had been nearly refusing to eat or drink much at all. I thought Popsicles were a sure fire way to get some fluids in her. She didn't want the Popsicles.

I was feeling worn out. I could feel the baby inside me bearing all her weight down low throughout my womba. My legs were like jello from hip to knee. Please, I can't go into labor now. I called the midwife at 7pm. "Can you just walk me through this? I don't really think I'm going into labor." She recommended a big glass of water, lay down and rest for a while. Yeah, sure. Rest. Hello! I have a sick toddler running around and my husband is out of town. I don't think Dolly (the beagle) would have been much of a babysitter. Sophie and I settled for the couch, put my feet up and one of the best episodes of Top Chef EVER!

Friday we went to work. Sophie was fairly compliant. Some DVDs on the laptop, trips up and down the stairs, play-doh, even a nap. She stuck it out while I waded through a never ending project and took my "I'm almost dones" in stride. Then she leaned into me and declared "I not poopin' mama." And that's when the crap started creeping up her back. Ugh! Not again. I apologized to my office mate, he assured me he'd smelled worse while solo hiking for 72 days. We waddled to the bathroom to clean up. This happened twice on Friday.

Saturday was looking promising. Although she had only peed once or twice on Friday she woke up with a very wet pull-up Saturday morning. Requested a scrambled egg and cheese. Ate that and asked for a second egg. Drank some juice. I was thinking we're in the home stretch of kicking what ever this is that is ailing her. We ran errands, rode various store carts, got new books from the library. She didn't eat lunch. She still hadn't peed again. After a short nap we ventured to Michael's. She seemed happy then pulled a fit out of no where spilling the remants of my coffee on the floorboards. We continued with the trip inside and she apologized to me. When we returned home she wanted to watch Sprout. I happily obliged so I could continue to clean the house.

I don't usually condone watching the tv for hours on end but she was happy and it gave me time to keep cleaning (my nesting is in full swing.) I then started to grow more and more worried. She watched tv for 3.5 hours straight. Zoned out into Chloe's closet, Calliou, The Good Night Show. When queried about dinner she said she didn't want anything. I, being the mom, made her something anyways. Boca nuggets, avocado, and cheese. Three favorites. The only reason she ate any of it is because I FED it to her. Three bites of Boca, two bites of cheese and avocado. Oh, and did I mention she hadn't peed since she WOKE UP?! This is about day 3 or 4 of urinating only once or twice.

No food, not drinking much, not peeing. This on top of the flu earlier in the week and the recent craps up the back had me spinning at this point. And her unusual delight in the tv. I started to panic a bit. I called the Drs. Mom. My mom and mother-in-law. I called to have them tell me all kids do this, I'm overreacting, I need to take her to the ER. Something. Through my tears they helped calm me down and call my old doctor and the new doctor. I called Phillip too so he could worry with me from a few hundred miles away.

The new doctor, whom we haven't seen yet, assured me I had done all the right things. Offered plenty of fluids, try to get her to eat a Popsicle, take her temperature, monitor output. He scheduled an Urgent Care visit for Sunday.

The saga continues.

We went to the Urgent Care appointment today. The doctor wanted to get a urine sample to check for bladder issues or a UTI. We were there for two hours waiting for Sophie to pee. We went to the bathroom twice, swabbed her clean, I anxiously held the pee cup under her hoping for just a few drops. Nothing. I couldn't wait any more. I needed to eat, we had exhausted the bin of toys, I wanted to nap. I told the doctor and nurse we would head home and hope for a sample there that I could drive back over. If she didn't produce a sample by 4pm I would have to take Sophie to the HOSPITAL (remember, my husband is still out of town!) to have them get a sample-via CATHETER! Oh dear lord, please no. I promised Sophie a cookie or candy at Wegman's if she would just pee in the cup! Right before we left the Dr. and Nurse recalled they also wanted to swab for Strep.

Great. I giant Qtip shoved down her throat. This should be fun since we were already exhausted and napless. On the second take they got a culture. We waited in the waiting room. Five minutes later the nurse came out...it's Positive. Sophia has strep throat.

This explains a whole lot. The lack of appetite. Not really wanting to drink. The lack of fluids coming in therefore the lack of fluids going out. And being prescribed antibiotics will also help clear up any possible urinary issues. I wonder how long she has had Strep this week? I hope I don't get it!

Thank god tomorrow is a holiday and we don't have to miss work or school. And my husband will be home. I'm taking tomorrow night off!

This, That, and the Other

I have been short on time and/or energy lately to blog so why don't I roll all the things I've been wanting to blog about into one?!
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Phillip and I painted the girls' rooms two weekends ago. We now have to paint the rest of the house because their room looks fabulous and highlights what terrible condition the rest of the walls are in. He did most of the work and put on all the finishing touches. He even took a trip to Target and bought some decals for the walls. He put together the new crib and manged to stash toys away so the room doesn't look too cluttered. I think he is in love with being the papa of two little girls. He was very impressed with the final outcome of the room. And, if you are in need of a crib we got Emma's crib at Target for $150! It's a Graco Lauren convertible crib. I was hesitant at first because it was so inexpensive but it seems to be pretty sturdy.


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Last week I walked into my office to find a home made "outhouse." Co-workers and friends of mine constructed it for me. We often sit together at lunch and have the most off color and hysterical conversations. Much like a mother to her daughter they often have to ask if I peed before I sat down to lunch because they know that if I get laughing too hard we could have an accident. So I walked into work last week and there stood "Kelly's Piddle Pad." Upon walking inside it was outfitted with a toilet and telephone. And a lot of funny advertisements remade with our faces on them! Hopefully it's still there tomorrow and I can get some photos to post.
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This past weekend has brought "The Bug" to our house. I made eggs and sausage for Sophie and I at her request. She also added 4 pepperonis to the meal. She had a few sips of juice and the pepperoni then declared she wasn't hungry and her tummy hurt. I thought perhaps she was mistaking hunger for pain. I didn't push the issue. A while later while attempting to get dressed and run errands she was refusing to put clothes on insisting on "five more minutes." (Her latest go to phrase.) And then she hurled. Delightful. Nothing like being 37 weeks pregnant, on your hands and knees cleaning up puke. We stayed put. But at this point I wasn't sure if it was the combination of pepperoni and apple juice that made her sick or something bigger. When she had her second vomit of the day I knew we were in for a treat. Luckily by the fourth time she totally got the concept of going to the bathroom to puke in the toilet. I felt so bad as she stood there literally hugging the toilet seat.

Monday was a trip to the doctor to have her checked out. He confirmed if the poops hadn't started yet, they would. Oh Goody!

Tuesday I awoke at 1am to "The Bug" attacking my insides. Also not fun being 37 weeks pregnant and having the stomach flu. I also have a condition from a surgery to correct acid reflux that prohibits me from being able to throw up. I can heave but the only thing that comes up is spit. It's like doing sit ups for hours on end with no results. A lot of pain, no gain.

Wednesday we both stayed home to recuperate after Sophie threw up again last night. It was rounded out by a trip to the ER because she had not urinated in 24+ hours and was refusing to drink. This was punctuated by a "crap up the back" right before we were headed to the ER. After putting her half clothed in the tub to clean up I pray that was the first, last, only exhibit of the bug in that way.

Thursday is wide open.

Birth Box

I'm 36 weeks today. Some women are packing their hospital bags at this point in the pregnancy, I am packing up my birth box.

The box contains my birth kit-interesting items like 2 drinking straws, those sexy mesh undies they make you wear with the ice packs inside, the mucous sucker outter thingie, a measuring tape, gloves, "chucks" or piddle pad type things, and a bunch of other items. All that came from the birth supply company. I just went on a home scavenger hunt for the other items.

Hydrogen peroxide
Rubbing Alcohol
3 gallon size zip lock bags
A roll of toilet paper
A roll of paper towels
A box of kleenex
Trash bags
A cookie sheet
A crock pot
Ammonia (cleans muconium out of clothing!)
Extra sheets
Towels and washclothes

Some of the items I need to buy or borrow.
Heating pad
Fan
Space heater (the room has to remain at 70-75 degrees for a while after the baby is born to keep her warm enough. I don't think Phillip is going to be able to sleep in the room with us! We currently have the house set at 67 and usually have the fan on and a window cracked!)

My birth tub is ordered and I'll pick it up in two weeks.

I have a home visit with my midwife this Friday.

Little by little everything is coming together and we are getting closer to having a family of four!

Gift for Emma

A dear friend of mine presented me with a gift for Emma earlier this week. Our friendship is based more on laughter and sarcasm than sentimentality. So when I started to get teary eyed and stood up to give her a hug she asked if I was going to wet my pants.

She is part Cherokee but used imagery from Hopi and Zuni tribes to paint this beautiful rocking chair. I hope Emma is as strong as my friend feels she will be and cherishes this gift forever.

The spirals represent a journey or Emma's life journey and path.

The bear claws represent strength and leadership.

The black and white ovals represent night and day. The sun in the middle represents warmth and all things good. Or warmth and goodness throughout the night and day.

The waves represent water, beginning, and life. This is especially special to me as Emma will be born in the water.

The bear and arrow represent strength and protection.

My friend felt bad that she didn't do this for Sophia but I told her it was okay-Sophie received other gifts from her. Like a Ralph Lauren polo and the softest blankets. I know that blankets are a coveted gift to give for this person and not everyone gets one. She also bought me my breast pump! That's pretty intimate. Sophie will be fine.

Toddler Tuesday

I'm in love with most of the things Sophie says...

Dinner: We have to say "God is Great." So after the amen she asks "What we say now? Buon Appetito!"

Phillip said something to her the other day about being his daughter. Sophie's response: "I'm not daughter, I love bug." Yes, yes you are dear.

On bodily functions: "I pass gas. sucse me."

Last night after a hodgepodge dinner at the greatest grocery store ever: "I grubby beast!"

What I don't like about her language skills recently? She has started Baby Talk. Everything ends in a "y." Orangey, hurty, booky, ....spare me!

Currently...

Took this idea from a fellow blogger. Loved it so much I thought I'd do it here too. Feel free to leave your own responses in the comments.

Reading: The Thinking Woman's Guide to a Better Birth by Henci Goer and just picked up Worst Case by James Patterson at the library...I don't think I've read that one yet!

Looking forward to: Sleeping on my stomach again

Stressing about: How the hell we are actually going to afford two kids

Craving: A BIG glass of cold wine

Wanting: A date night or afternoon or 30 minutes with the husband (keeping this from K's original post!)

Wearing: Anything that fits. Can I just live in yoga pants for the rest of my days?

Sick of: getting up every two hours throughout the night to pee.

Learning: How to have a baby in the water!

Suffering from: Not enough time

Struggling with: How an infant and toddler are going to share a room!

Hoping to: Have Sophia potty trained (and NOT reverse) by the time Emma arrives

Excited for: uhhhh Hello! I'm having a baby!

Relieved by: coworkers/friends that threw a "sprinkle" for me and now I'm stocked up on some of the basics

Splurging on: nothing. pinching pennies these days..but Sophie and I did share a small chocolate milk shake at Chick-Fil-A today!

Nesting

Sophia's choice of toys and play has always been the more creative, hands on, manipulative toys. Trucks, fire engines, play-doh, blocks, farm toys. She has three dolls one of which she just liked to take it's clothes off-not really play with. That was until about two weeks ago.

The weekend my girlfriends came for a visit and helped clean out the closet and organize the baby stuff a door was opened. Not only can we find stuff now but some of the necessary baby stuff is visible-like the swing.

Sophie started carrying around one of the baby dolls, which she insisted be wrapped up like a burrito, and puts the baby in the swing every day. Every morning the swing makes it's way to the kitchen with baby and and night the swing goes back to the bedroom so she and baby can sleep.

Baby has come with us to church and the grocery store. I hold the baby as if it were real. If the baby falls we give it kisses. Her other baby is now sporting a size 1 diaper because I had to physically demonstrate that Sophie wouldn't fit in the diaper!

I guess this is a good thing as we approach Emma's birth day. Sophia has a baby to care for and so will I.

Toddler Tuesday

A few weeks ago we took Sophie to get her haircut, her FIRST haircut. She was just shy of 2 years and 9 months old. I felt a little bad getting her locks trimmed off since it took us nearly 3 years to accumulate the amount of hair she has but her bangs were in her eyes and she was looking a little scraggly. So off to Ms. Lee's barbershop where Phillip gets his hair cut and what a world of difference. I'm glad Ms. Lee knows how to cut hair in a fashion other than just a high and tight!Our little ragamuffin.
First trim!
The Phillip smirk.
Almost done.
Look how pretty!

Logistics

I am 34 weeks pregnant today. As we approach "due date" more and more people have inquired about the birth of our daughter. To those who don't know I'm planning a home birth in the water they are surprised and inquisitive, for the people who already know of this plan they just have questions about the hows, whys and wheres. So here are some of the details.

I am planning a home birth in the water. My midwife will start seeing me at home at week 36.

Supplies: I ordered a birth kit online through my midwife. It includes the "piddle pads" used at the hospital, that blue mucous suker outtie thing, a paper measuring tape, the ohhh so sexy mesh underwear, a cord clamp and my favorite items 2 bendy straws (I don't think I want to know what those are for!) and a bunch of other items that the midwife includes in her personalized kit. It arrived last week and waiting to join the rest of the supplies.

Can I use my bathtub? Well I could, it's deep enough but not wide enough and the bathroom as a whole isn't big enough to accommodate Phillip, me, the midwife and birth assistant. So we are renting a tub. You can buy what are essentially kiddie pools but they can't take hot water. The next step up are more durable kiddie pools that you can put hot water in and cover with a sleeping bag or quilt until ready to use to maintain the water temperature. We have chosen to go with the next higher grade tub that plugs in and has a heater to keep the water warm. It is 5' in diameter, 24" high and rents for $250.

Where is the hospital? In case of the need to be transferred the hospital is literally around the corner. I clocked it on the way home tonight and it is 1/2 a mile from our driveway. The firehouse is across the street. I'm not worried about needing their services or being caught in a precarious situation that hampers us from getting there quickly.

Where will Sophia be during all of this? I have no problem with Sophie witnessing this miracle of birth, Phillip is a bit more hesitant. So our rough plan is that if I am in labor during daycare hours she'll be there. If it's the middle of the night, we'll let her sleep. If it is a weekend she can hopefully play with the neighbor's kids for a bit or my mom, sister, or good friend can occupy her or take her somewhere else for a bit. The midwife suggested if she is around while I'm in labor and she is okay with it, not stressed, not causing me stress let it ride. Some kids get freaked out, some kids are cool with it. We'll just play it by ear.

Won't she hear you? I confirmed with Phillip that when giving birth to Sophie, I never screamed or moaned in agony. I think this time around may be even less vocal. We'll see.

Where will Dolly (the beagle) be during all of this? Probably where she is most all of the time, day or night. Asleep, on the couch.

Do you actually give birth to the baby in the water? Yes, if I want. The water is great for labor-it's relaxing, calming, and can help ease some of the pain associated with labor. Additionally, you can actually birth the baby directly into the water. Since the baby is still breathing via umbilical cord it doesn't need the air right away to breathe. So you can let the baby gently come through the water and then out of the water before it will take it's first breath.

What questions do you have about home birth or water birth?

TEMPER TANTRUM

It was like a switch turned on and I can't make any sense of it.

Yesterday, after a two hour commute home, I walked in the house to a husband starting dinner and an adorable toddler who was excited and happy to see me. That's what I needed. Less than ten minutes later, that all changed.

The play by play:
Went to the bathroom. "I come wif you mama." Okay, I can handle that.
Went to the bedroom for my ponytail holder and slippers. Sophie followed.
While sitting on the bed putting on the slippers she noticed Phillip's lip balm and asked if she should bring it to him. I said that would be very nice (regardless if he needed it or not.)
Next thing I hear is a crying kiddo coming back to the bedroom telling me she threw the lip balm in the kitchen. I don't even think Phillip was in the kitchen at the time.

Sophie then goes bizurk! She is crying because she threw the lip balm, I ask her why she is getting so upset and that just made things worse. She is just whaling and screaming and crying for no rational reason. I sit on the bed again to try and talk to her, she yells at me not to sit down. I'm trying to put my hair back and she yells at me not to do that. By now Phillip has come back to see what is going on and try to help. He is met by a Sophie monster who wants nothing to do with him and wants him out of the room.

She was unconsoleable and uncontrolable. And by this point I'm in tears and completely perplexed by her behavior. Phillip sequesters her to her room until she can calm down.

In my head, tantrums are cause and effect. The child doesn't get her way= throws a fit. Phillip kept trying to explain to me that tantrums are a childs way of getting attention. I refuted this because she was GETTING attention. She was with me, helping me, hell, she went potty with me. How much more attention does she need?!?

After two rounds with Phillip in the bedroom and more tears than we can count she finally came out, apologized, brought me a kleenex. And we ate dinner.

I just want an explanation.

Midwifery

On December 30 I met with a midwife. I walked out of the appointment feeling excited, giddy, and anxious to have this next baby...in the comforts of my own home.

I met with her for an hour and a half. Discussing the birth of Sophia, my miscarriage, the LEEP procedure I had to remove potentially cancerous cells, and this pregnancy. It was so rewarding to have a conversation about me, my body, my gynecological health. It wasn't the standard, check-in, pee in a cup, get weighed, wait 20 minutes for the doctor to arrive in the cold, sterile, unattractive room. I sat on the couch, drinking water, openly discussing the things important to me; my family and having another baby.

A little background: I miscarried in October 2009 at about 5 or 6 weeks. I knew I needed the LEEP procedure but couldn't right away because I had miscarried. Then the window for the procedure opened up again. Within 6 weeks I went from feeling elated about being pregnant to devastated and then concerned I wouldn't get pregnant again. One complication from the LEEP is the possibility of having your cervix open prematurely when pregnant and they need to stitch you together to prevent pre-term labor. Oh fun.

So, when I found out I was pregnant again I returned to the OBGYN. I had additional ultrasounds done because we couldn't hear a heartbeat, worried about miscarriage again, then had to have internal ultrasounds to measure and asses my cervix. I had 2 week appointments between weeks 14-22 because if the cervix is going to open, that's the window of opportunity.

I felt trapped. Trapped by the "experts" needing to run tests to make sure everything was going accordingly and not causing issues. I have one doctor at the practice that I really like and almost felt like I would be letting her down if I left.

But now, after meeting the two midwives and speaking at length with one of them and the staff, I know I have made the right decision. I'm looking forward to welcoming this child into the world via the water, resting in my own bed, being surrounded by familar people and things and having Sophia be there to welcome her sister into our family.

At the end of the appointment, the midwife hugged me. Not many doctors do that!

Yup, I'm a mom...

Tonight Phillip and I went Christmas shopping. We left the house at 9pm! It was one of the smartest decisions I've ever made. Easy parking spots, stores that are open late, not a lot of people, and no lines at the check out. First stop, Macy's.

I was Christmas shopping...for myself ;) I needed a new brassiere in a bad way. Due to the baby in utero my "milk makers" have grown at an astounding rate. And for anyone who knows me personally, this kinda astounds me. Well I went in to get measured because I had actual shopping to do and didn't want to mess around. I just needed a bigger bra to get me through the next three months when I'll switch over to the oh so sexy nursing bras.

I told the clerk why I needed to get measured, what I was looking for and quipped "I think I'm even bigger this time around than when I was pregnant the first time." As I took off my sweatshirt and started taking off my sweater she casually asked-Is your first kid about 2 or 3?

Why yes, she is. How did she know.

The clerk then nicely pointed out "because you have stickers all over your shirt." That's right, I had four smiley face stickers across the top of my sweater and one about my belly button on the baby bump for good measure.

Yup, I'm a mom.

Pregnancy Tidbits

I'm 28 1/2 weeks pregnant and feeling great. My sciatica has eased off a bit which is quite a relief.
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My feet have grown and this annoys me. I now wear a size 10, up from a 9 1/2. I wonder if they will shrink after the birth.
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I have an appointment with a midwife tomorrow and could not be more excited. I really wanted to use a midwife and do home birth with Sophia but there were a lot of factors that ultimately led us to sticking with our OB and having Sophie in the hospital.

I'm looking forward to having this baby in the water, at home, and recuperating in my own bed. The only thing I might miss from the hospital is the food. They had really good food. But my mom will be in town so I think I'll be fine. As long as she makes more rice krispie treats for me to eat post delivery!

Toddler Tuesday

This past weekend Sophie and I had some much needed and well deserved Mommy/Sophie time. We set out to make some Christmas Carolers and it was a blast. Sophie loves to paint and as long as I have a good set of directions, I can be pretty crafty. I realize when working on a project of this sort with a toddler you have to let some things roll. You can't be a perfectionist and need to let their personality and "artistic design" shine through in what you are doing. You can't touch up their mistakes or finish up where they left off. Just let them do what they want and help with the rest. This is what memories are made of!

Perils of a working mom

On my way to work this morning I received a phone call from my husband. It was 7:05 am. "We're a bit cranky this morning, I want to try something."

On the line comes a sweet, tired, tiny, "hello" from Sophia. I tried asking questions-how she slept, if she'd seen Hat (our Elf on the Shelf), if she was going to be good for Papa. She responded with small "yeses" and told me she loved me - "Wuv you too mama."

Great. Phillip came back on the line and I asked "Did she ask for me this morning?" Yes. This was after a night in which we went to sleep in my bed, Phillip tried to move her, she insisted on getting back into bed with me, Phillip was going to sleep on the couch, I convinced her to sleep in her bed with my pillow. And, because I'm on overnight duty in the dorm I won't see her until tomorrow and be gone again tomorrow night.

I was then in tears. I'm sure that's not the outcome Phillip had hoped for. One of us may have felt comforted, but the other feels a heartache greater than you can imagine.

How much income can we live on? Is there another way to manage the joys and sorrows of being a working mother? All I wanted to do was turn the car around and go home to my sweet baby girl. I'm pretty sure she misses me as much as I miss her during the day.

What are you doing in there?!?

I would love to have an ultrasound machine at my disposal at all times. This kiddo in utero does more maneuvering than someone trying to do a three point turn. She is sitting very low and flips and flops all morning. I sit far out from my desk just like I ate my third Thanksgiving meal!

I don't recall Sophia being quite this active. It is so weird to feel her moving around a lot of times I can't sit up straight because it feels like I'm not giving her enough room to move!

Sophia has only felt the baby move once and didn't seem too impressed. Now that I'm at the point where you can see the baby move perhaps she'll be more interested in her baby sister.

Best Friends helping a pregnant lady out

I received the best email the other day.

I believe I was queried in an email string with my best girlfriends about how I was feeling, if I'm anxious about delivery, how things are coming along preparing for baby #2, etc. I'm lucky having a girl in March since Sophie was born in April-I really don't need a lot of "stuff." All the clothes will be the right size/right season, the gear is still in good shape, and hand-me-downs and sharing will be the wave of the future for baby Emma. All we really need is a crib and new diapers! I want a glider and nursing stool (footrest really) for breastfeeding more comfortably this time around. The only challenge to this is organizing the closet and dresser and sifting through countless vacuum storage bags to find the 0-3, 3-6, 6-9 month clothing.

In January my girls are heading east to DC for our annual Diva Weekend since I'm on the no fly list in the third trimester. We are secluding ourselves in a hotel room, wining, dining, and being girls for three days. Doing anything baby related was the furthest thing from my mind. Until I received this email:

To Twobraids:

We, the undersigned, submit a proposal to you for review regarding the
weekend in January when we come to visit.

We, your fellow Bobcats, Divas, and General Goofballs, propose to come
to your residence and empty the contents of Baby Closet, clean and
sanitize the assorted Baby Toys That Got Put In Sophie's Mouth, sort
the diapers, clothes, and other surprises contained within the
structure, and embark on a journey to make a lovely pregnant woman and
fabulous mommy less stressed.

We further have agreed to re-establish organization within said
closet, taking care to label and package everything in a way that
suits Twobraids, a.k.a. ask Momma, Wife, Nurse, Friend, Goddess.

Your prompt reply is most appreciated.

Sincerely
B-P-Mc-R Inc., LLC., etc.

This is the greatest second baby gift ever! I don't think the girls know what they are getting themselves into, but they'll find out soon enough!

It's beginning to look like Christmas....

I guess all I needed was a weekend to make the Christmas season feel like Christmas. This past weekend we had the Brown Family Christmas extravaganza! The tree came in the house with a special present from Santa, Elf on the Shelf, tucked in the boughs.

After unearthing all of my Christmas decoration boxes and remembering that lights need to go on before ornaments, all of our light strands were dead. Phillip and Sophie headed to the hardware store on Friday night while I took a busload of high school girls to see a local drive through holiday lights display. We even saw a few snow flurries.

Turns out the second strand of lights in the two strand set was also a dud-but when he returned them they just gave him a new duo of lights! Three strands for the price of two.

We went to the Warrenton Christmas parade and then ran a bunch of errands all over town. We returned home, decorated the tree, finished putting out the other decorations, started making Christmas cookies and candy, listened to music and read some of my favorite Christmas books. My beloved "beagle Christmas" sweatshirt and Christmas socks were taken out of hiding too. Don't worry, I only wear my crazy beagle lady sweatshirt in the privacy of my own home!

So the spirit is getting me. Slowly but surely it's all coming together and I'm feeling better about this magical time of year. Hopefully photos will follow tomorrow. Now it's time to dream of sugarplums!

Christmas is coming...

And I'm just not feeling it yet.

I have a toddler and feel like Christmas should just be pouring out of me as I watch her delight in the joys of the season. But instead I feel like it's just another day, just another time.

We bought our tree in North Carolina-where all good Christmas trees come from ;) It drove 11 hours on top of the car and listened to Sophie ask over and over "Where tree?" But it is still sitting outside on the porch.

We rearranged some of the furniture in our living room last night to accommodate the tree but that only reminded me of how small our place is and that the clutter that seems to be everywhere is everywhere because I don't have any other damn place to put it!

I love the celebration of Advent and expectation of Christmas and all that it represents-birth, renewal, joy, family, giving. But I'm nearly a week behind on that too because I have yet to unearth our advent wreath, candles, and prayer book.

I had hoped to make an Advent calendar but at this point should just skip it or buy the one from Wegmans with chocolate candy inside!

I just want to feel it. Feel the magic and looking at Christmas through MY child's eyes. But it all seems so distant to me.