Best Friends helping a pregnant lady out

I received the best email the other day.

I believe I was queried in an email string with my best girlfriends about how I was feeling, if I'm anxious about delivery, how things are coming along preparing for baby #2, etc. I'm lucky having a girl in March since Sophie was born in April-I really don't need a lot of "stuff." All the clothes will be the right size/right season, the gear is still in good shape, and hand-me-downs and sharing will be the wave of the future for baby Emma. All we really need is a crib and new diapers! I want a glider and nursing stool (footrest really) for breastfeeding more comfortably this time around. The only challenge to this is organizing the closet and dresser and sifting through countless vacuum storage bags to find the 0-3, 3-6, 6-9 month clothing.

In January my girls are heading east to DC for our annual Diva Weekend since I'm on the no fly list in the third trimester. We are secluding ourselves in a hotel room, wining, dining, and being girls for three days. Doing anything baby related was the furthest thing from my mind. Until I received this email:

To Twobraids:

We, the undersigned, submit a proposal to you for review regarding the
weekend in January when we come to visit.

We, your fellow Bobcats, Divas, and General Goofballs, propose to come
to your residence and empty the contents of Baby Closet, clean and
sanitize the assorted Baby Toys That Got Put In Sophie's Mouth, sort
the diapers, clothes, and other surprises contained within the
structure, and embark on a journey to make a lovely pregnant woman and
fabulous mommy less stressed.

We further have agreed to re-establish organization within said
closet, taking care to label and package everything in a way that
suits Twobraids, a.k.a. ask Momma, Wife, Nurse, Friend, Goddess.

Your prompt reply is most appreciated.

Sincerely
B-P-Mc-R Inc., LLC., etc.

This is the greatest second baby gift ever! I don't think the girls know what they are getting themselves into, but they'll find out soon enough!

It's beginning to look like Christmas....

I guess all I needed was a weekend to make the Christmas season feel like Christmas. This past weekend we had the Brown Family Christmas extravaganza! The tree came in the house with a special present from Santa, Elf on the Shelf, tucked in the boughs.

After unearthing all of my Christmas decoration boxes and remembering that lights need to go on before ornaments, all of our light strands were dead. Phillip and Sophie headed to the hardware store on Friday night while I took a busload of high school girls to see a local drive through holiday lights display. We even saw a few snow flurries.

Turns out the second strand of lights in the two strand set was also a dud-but when he returned them they just gave him a new duo of lights! Three strands for the price of two.

We went to the Warrenton Christmas parade and then ran a bunch of errands all over town. We returned home, decorated the tree, finished putting out the other decorations, started making Christmas cookies and candy, listened to music and read some of my favorite Christmas books. My beloved "beagle Christmas" sweatshirt and Christmas socks were taken out of hiding too. Don't worry, I only wear my crazy beagle lady sweatshirt in the privacy of my own home!

So the spirit is getting me. Slowly but surely it's all coming together and I'm feeling better about this magical time of year. Hopefully photos will follow tomorrow. Now it's time to dream of sugarplums!

Christmas is coming...

And I'm just not feeling it yet.

I have a toddler and feel like Christmas should just be pouring out of me as I watch her delight in the joys of the season. But instead I feel like it's just another day, just another time.

We bought our tree in North Carolina-where all good Christmas trees come from ;) It drove 11 hours on top of the car and listened to Sophie ask over and over "Where tree?" But it is still sitting outside on the porch.

We rearranged some of the furniture in our living room last night to accommodate the tree but that only reminded me of how small our place is and that the clutter that seems to be everywhere is everywhere because I don't have any other damn place to put it!

I love the celebration of Advent and expectation of Christmas and all that it represents-birth, renewal, joy, family, giving. But I'm nearly a week behind on that too because I have yet to unearth our advent wreath, candles, and prayer book.

I had hoped to make an Advent calendar but at this point should just skip it or buy the one from Wegmans with chocolate candy inside!

I just want to feel it. Feel the magic and looking at Christmas through MY child's eyes. But it all seems so distant to me.

Toddler Tuesday

As each generation of parents learn-kids don't need fancy toys. A laundry basket and a belt make a great "ride."
We added the helmet after a little harmless spill, just in case.


By the way, they also don't need new sparkly toys and teddy bears. She has recently adopted Phillip's Ted E. Bear, as her own.

Discipline Done Wrong

As most of us know being a parent is the toughest job we will ever do and there is no single right way to do it nor is there any sort of actual instruction guide. We just blindly do what we think is right, deal with situations on the fly, perhaps refer to a book written by a doctor or "professional" and hope our kid or ourselves doesn't end up in therapy.

The one thing I do know that is right...is that we are doing it wrong.

The bed time issue that I have talked about numerous times on here and even Not Raising Brats was kind enough to seek advice for me, has turned into a nightmare. And Phillip and I are realizing we both are at odds with one another in how to handle the situation and the correct way to discipline Sophie and correct the behavior.

We aren't coming to blows with one another about the issue but we are doing things two different ways which is causing it's own conflict. Here's the deal:

Most evenings, regardless of who pick's Sophie up from daycare, we are at the house around 5:45p.m. Dinner is being prepped or cooked by 6 p.m., we are eating and cleaning up between 6:30 or 7:00 p.m. Then the bedtime preparations begin.

Some nights we get protest other nights the bath part goes smoothly but everything else falls apart. I'm trying to get Sophie to bed (like in bed, kisses given, books read, lights out) by 8 p.m.

The average adult who doesn't hate kids should realize that 2 hours with your offspring just isn't enough time. So what this had lead to several times of the past few weeks is a complete meltdown-for Sophie and Mama. I'm fighting with Sophie to take her bath or wash her hair. Then we are fighting to get a pull-up and her jammies on. Then we are fighting over how many books to read.

The night I started writing this post I had given Sophie a "sink-bath" and when it was time to get out she protested. I stood my ground and got her out of the sink. She only wanted to play more. So after a tantrum to and from her bedroom, some attempted intervention from Phillip, I just gave in and put her back in the sink. This was at 8 p.m. This wasn't just a simple disagreement. It was a battle of wills. She was screaming, I was screaming, Phillip was now trying to step calmly out of the situation. As Sophie gleefully played with bubbles in the sink I bawled on the floor-so exhausted and clueless about how to really handle the situation.

We finally got Sophie out of the sink, in her PJs, and ready for bed. At this point I was so upset at myself for treating her the way I did and I knew she would continue the fight once it was actually time for her to get in bed we let her sleep with me for a while. I went to bed with her at 8:30p.m. or so.

This leads to the second complication of this whole ordeal. I've been up since 5 a.m., at work and in traffic all day, exhausted, haven't seen Phillip or even decompressed and then I'm going to bed early to appease Sophie and let sleep take care of my problems. All very counter productive.

So this is what I'd like to know: how do YOU deal with discipline? Phillip tries to be firm and set the boundaries but I'm so exhausted and don't have the time nor energy to deal I just given in. We are working at odds with one another.

What do you do? What tricks have you learned? What books written by experts have you read that have helped?

*I started this post on 11/5. Since then we have had less struggles but haven't resolved how to deal with disciplining a 2.5 year old.

Random Tidbits

Please suggest your favorite pair of maternity jeans. I have two pairs that I hate this time around. A full panel pair from Old Navy that cuts into me where the panel meets the jean. A pair from Motherhood Maternity with a demi panel and the panel rolls and I'm constantly pulling them up.
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Sophie can now say "more" in sign language. It's so cute to watch her concentrate and put her hands together, fingers facing each other, and requesting "more." I'm bummed I didn't try harder to teach her "baby sign language" when she was younger but now that she is learning it at pre-school she should be able to help with teaching the baby!
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Sophie used the potty three times on Saturday and three times on Sunday! She reverted back to her "old" floor model potty instead of the seat that goes on the toilet but I don't care. She used the POTTY! Please, Lord, let this continue. I'm sick of buying Pull-ups.
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We are still indecisive about a name for Baby # 2. Would you like to weigh in?
Emma Louise (or Louisa for all options) Cann
Emma Louise Johnson
Emma Louise Kelly
Emma Louise Bache
Emma Louise Larson
Emma Louise Marie

October in Review

I think October is my favorite month of the year. Some warm days, some cool days, and some down right cold days that make me long for winter and fires in the fireplace.

I love the changing colors of the trees, snuggling into bed, and the hype of Halloween and those other holidays that follow but seem to be closer and closer each year.

We started the month off with a trip to the Bob Evans Farm Festival in Rio Grande, Ohio. This is an event my family has been involved with for decades and always feels like a homecoming for me. I'm glad I finally got to share this with Phillip and Sophia.

Sophia and I shared time together in the kitchen making cupcakes and decorating them. A multitude of fall and Halloween themed artwork came home from preschool/daycare. We all carved pumpkins and reaped the rewards of roasted pumpkin seeds (the only pumpkin by-product I enjoy!

My only disappointment was trick or treat. First of all, this was the first year we actually dressed Sophia up for Halloween. She did have a duck costume her first year but only wore it for daycare. We didn't take her out for trick or treat-it felt like we would have been begging the candy!

So Sophia got dressed up in her Fire Chief costume and headed out with Phillip down our quiet street. About five minutes later there was a knock and entrance (which scared the crap out of me) into the house. They had returned empty handed. She didn't like the dark and all the dark houses. About ten minutes later Sophie decided to venture out again. And returned shortly there after. I think I was more disappointed then she was. I was disappointed that our street sucks and there wasn't much trick or treat activity, disappointed that she didn't "get" trick or treat and want to adventure to the houses, and maybe disappointed that she didn't get any Reese's cups for me to steal.

I was also disappointed that we only had a total of six trick or treaters at our house! Good thing I love TOOTSIE Rolls! And that I only bought one MEGA bag of them at Target.

Eventually our neighbors stopped by with their adorable Jelly Fish and Pumpkin. He was extremely apologetic that he didn't give us the inside scoop as to where in our neighborhood to take Sophie for Halloween fun.

Oh well, hopefully next year will be better and we'll all venture out in some ridiculously clever family costume. And have enough sugar to rot our teeth!

At any rate, October was great. Enjoy the October slide show.

Toddler Tuesday

I may not get all the housework done in a given weekend but I think I've figured out how to get some help around here!

The Name Game

Now that we know we are having a girl we have to come up with a name. If it were to be a boy this would be a non-conversation. We've had a boy name picked out since before Sophia was even a glimmer in our eyes.

Phillip and I only want to use family names for our children. We have a lot of great, unique names to choose from. The problem with that is that we want to use them all!-Without becoming the next TLC family reality TV show.

We have already determined that our kids will have two middle names so we can get a lot of mileage out of our list of possibilities. But with this kiddo we are having a difficult time agreeing. I have chosen a name that incorporates two names from my side of the family and the second middle name from Phillip's side. It is just noting ringing clear for him.

This morning he called me with a solution: his side first name, my two names, his side THIRD middle name, Brown. Really? Can you see her filling out her college applications and getting a hand cramp? Or carpel tunnel from so much typing.

So how many names is too many?

Boy did I get that wrong...

We had our 20 week sonogram yesterday. Friends and co-workers have seemed to be hyper with anxiety about when we would find out the sex of our second born. I think I've been asked more "when are you finding out?" than "when are you due?"

From the moment the home pregnancy test indicated we were pregnant I have thought we were going to have a boy. People speculated based on my bump it was going to be a boy. The heart rate has consistently been in the 140's sometimes indicating a boy and I haven't craved sweets nearly like I did with Sophia.

So finally the ultrasound tech finishes all the necessary measurements and gets the baby to move in such a position that we can determine "pink" or "blue." My woman's intuition and "mommy radar" were way off...well 50% off any ways.

We are having another GIRL!

The first thing I said to Phillip was that we needed to start saving for another wedding! But in the meantime we would be saving a lot of money- I certainly don't have to buy any clothes! And because Sophie was a spring baby the "season" of the clothing is pretty much spot on. We of course will make up for the savings now when we have two girls in high school at the same time needing new fall looks, homecoming and prom dresses, new shoes, new purses.....

Now we just need to think of a name!

Toddler Tuesday

Grilling over hardwood lump charcoal? A delicious meal.

Mowing with a push mower? Beautiful manicured lawn.

Having your daughter help you mow the lawn via riding lawn mower? Priceless.

Toddler Thursday

Thank goodness there are two days in the week that start with the letter T so my alliteration still works! I missed Tuesday so today we have Toddler Thursday!

Sophie isn't always sans pants, button pushing, "terrible two" toddler. Some days she is down right helpful. She loves to help do the dishes, set the table, and has even given the feather duster and Swiffer a go. This is a good thing!

Tuesday she helped me unload the dishwasher and even reached into the sink to put the dirty dishes into the washer (even the things I hand wash-I sorted those back out later.) Being careful to use "two hands" on each glass or coffee mug.

I hope this trend of being truly helpful continues when the baby comes. It could be a lifesaver.

Pushing my buttons

How is it that a toddler in their short life knows how to push our buttons? Did they memorize things that drive us crazy while in utero so they would know how to play the game when they arrived?

Last night I'm pretty sure Sophie was thinking to herself "Watch this tall people, I'm going to push mom to the edge."

I had a friend over for dinner. Sophie and I sat on the booth side of the table while Phillip and "Aunt Bec" sat in chairs across from us. Sophie decided sometime before dinner that she didn't want to wear a pull-up, only her princess unders, and no pants. Of course she did...we had company. And to complete the ensemble she had on a pj top.

So while we were eating she refused to sit or kneel at the table. This drives me crazy because she likes to walk the length of the bench instead of eat dinner. While casually standing there she lifted her shirt exposing her "booboos." This made Phillip less than thrilled. He sternly said "Sophie, put your shirt down! You look like white trash." And then what did Sophie choose to repeat? "White trash." I wish you could have heard it!

Sophie continued to test my patience and not sit down. So I tried to be stern and told her to "SIT DOWN! This isn't funny!" What did Sophie say about that? "This isn't funny."

How could you not laugh after that? I was a puddle of tears and laughter. All my tough mommy-ness went flying out the window.

At this point I had enough and told her it was time for her bath. She initially agreed but quickly changed her mind. While naked, wet, and soapy from head to toe she fought me to get out of the tub. Soap or not, she wanted out. I had to hold her in with one arm while scrubbing with the other. The bath couldn't have been more than five minutes. Once I was done, and Phillip had come in for reinforcement, we wrestled her out of the tub only to continue to wail and flail and demand to get BACK IN THE TUB! Really? Is this a test? Did God put you up to this to see how strong we are as parents?

After running rampant naked and wet for a few minutes she demanded to be let back into the bathroom. Phillip hollered at me to stay strong and not give in. I went the easy route and opened the bathroom door. She wanted back in the tub. I put her in, she got her feet soapy from the remaining bubbles, and then immediately wanted out. Really? So I lifted her out and she was disturbed by the soapy feet but generally heading toward calm. Holy moly that is a willful child.

She pushed all the buttons but I think I won. I didn't loose my temper! And you would think this continued into bed time...but it was more like "Don't let the door hit you on the way out ma!"

Toddler Tuesday

Upon returning home from work I usually shuck my pants and put on "comfy" pants...aka my pajama pants. I've done this for a long time and generally like to say it's just because I'm pregnant and way more comfortable! Sophie has started to follow suit. With the pajama pants usually comes another shirt and who knows what else...

Tractor socks, crocs, and my winter hat of course. Why not blow bubbles in your pjs?

Father Daughter Day

For a little extra moolah I'm working in the dorm of the school that I work at 9-5. It's a pretty easy gig (minus a pregnant mother of a toddler having to stay up until MIDNIGHT) and I only have to do it five times a year. Truth be told, it's a nice break from the regular commute, commute, commute routine. I don't like being away from Sophie and Phillip and it's really hard on Friday's because I don't get to see Sophie for even one minute.

What I really like about it is that it provides a lot of time for Phillip and Sophie to have good quality Papa/Sophie time. He does it all from meals, bath time, tantrums, errands, and of course, lots of fun.

Today they headed out to a historical miniatures show. Sounds boring to me but for Phillip and Sophie it meant model trains and planes, toy soldiers, tanks and so much more. She could hardly wait to see the choo-choos! I talked to them shortly before they were heading home and Sophie was painting a horse. You could over hear her in the background as Phillip and I spoke "ut oh, Sophie paint Papa." So cute. She came home with a mounted horse painted pink, purple, green and blue and green arm on the back of her arm to match.

They have such a good time riding in "Papa's Big ol' truck" and going places together. A little while ago while we were saying our good nights he told me just how much he loves having a daughter and loves having a two year old daughter! She is so cute but also curious and skeptical and finds wonder in so many things. I'm so glad he gets such good quality time with her without me to interrupt that magic.

Toddler Tuesday

On a lot of the momblogs I read bloggers often have "Silent Sunday" or "Wordless Wednesday" where they only post a photo to tell the story. I've decided to start to post "Toddler Tuesday" photos of things only a toddler would do!

So here she is, sans pants, pushing her grocery cart and ball, donning an Elmo bag and what you don't see is that she was whizzing around between rooms in a circle. At times, the cart was on two wheels!

Lice update

We did the whole RID Lice treatment. And she had 3 shampoos yesterday! I hope her hair doesn't fall out.

After much intense, academic, through internet research we don't think it is Lice after all. We didn't find any nits or other lice after all the cleanings and combings. And looking at a lot of gross photos online the bug we saw was black and round. Not white or reddish brown and oval.

We are keeping a vigilant eye but I think we are in the clear. However, there was a bug in her hair. And we've had the exterminator to our house 3 times! How can any bug still be alive in there?

When life hands you lemons...

It's a good thing I love lemonade!

This is not a pity party but more of just stating where life is at the moment. And it seems when one not so fun thing happens we are on the door steps of another not fun thing.

The house we are renting isn't a slum but some days it feels like it. Since moving in one month ago we have had the exterminator out three times, a plumber and "handy man" visit three or four times, actually had the work done earlier this week to the tune of $1400 dollars (thank god the landlord foots that bill), a new refrigerator put in, and we are waiting for the delivery of the new washer/dryer.

Our twenty-something hood rat neighbors are moving out as I type. And thank god for that.

We frequently hear them coming in at 3 and 4 a.m., banging, clanging, slamming doors and my favorite, a litany of insults and expletives "f-this, f-that, f-you" at any given time of the day. I hope the girlfriend got the hint and has left that relationship. The problem with them coming and going at all hours of the night is that their bedrooms must be directly under ours and they often wake Sophie up. As if it wasn't easy enough for me to get her to sleep! Luckily, she will go back to sleep but it is such a disruption to her sleep schedule and I'm less than thrilled at what she can hear through the floor boards.

Last night she was wide awake because of them and so we let her in our bed. Two grown adults, one with an expanding belly, a beagle that takes up as much room as a great dane and a toddler...not quality sleep for most of us except the dog I imagine. This morning when we got up Sophie's hair was one helluva mess. Knots, tangles, the works. If she wants dreadlocks at any point she's well on her way. So I convinced her that if she sat still and let me comb the rat's nest she would get a treat from the "treat bag." (Ahh, bribery.) Well upon combing there was a small black bug in her hair. I thought it was a tick but is quickly moved and we couldn't find it again. Today's "ah shit" moment? Lice.

So off to CVS Phillip went. Thank god the lice treatment is a Flex Spending item because we barely have enough cash to make it to the next payday. The instructions say to wash the hair with the medicated shampoo and leave it on for 10 minutes! And the person being shampooed needs to tightly close their eyes and put a towel over the eyes to protect them from the shampoo. Are you kidding me? She's two and a half! This was like torture. So off came my pants and into the tub I went holding the towel to her eyes and singing any song I could to distract her. 10 minutes is a long...........time with a toddler.

A lice treatment is a three step process and has to be repeated in 7-10 days. The good thing is that I don't actually thing she has lice. We didn't see any more bugs or nits when cleaning and combing. Wheww...

Phillip is currently at the laundromat. Did you know one load of laundry take 5 DOLLARS to do? I don't think we had that much in quarters so a little more money siphoned off the diminishing checking account. I'm glad my Mom suggested that we bill the landlord for the laundry since we are currently with out a washer and dryer.

So that's been our past few weeks. I am glad that we have a roof over our heads, food on the table, bills paid, and clothing on our backs but damn it's hard sometimes. And right now I can only have lemonade, no vodka and lemonade!

The Balancing Act

For any family, regardless if there is a stay at home parent, two working parents, a single parent, or two work at home parents when you have a family it becomes a balancing act. You can't live as carefree as you did in your newlywed, no kid, days. Meals have to be planned, pick up and drop offs covered, schedules confirmed.

I think I have done an okay job balancing all of the responsibilities of being a mom, a wife, and a woman but I know I could improve. Due to my long and early commute Phillip takes Sophia to and from daycare. This will get a little tricky this year because day care is closer to home where as the previous two years it was very close to Phillip's work. Add in a change of schedule for me, by an hour in the morning and afternoon but coupled with a later commute on both ends has the potential to add 30 minutes to an hour to my commute each way.

I want to find time to learn how to knit again. I want Phillip to have time to do the things he enjoys and I want more time for date nights. All of this is like a complex orchestral piece. So my question is:

How do YOU balance all your roles without wearing yourself out?

The Whirlwind

The past few weeks have been such a whirlwind. Let's recap:
Gallbladder attack June 18
6th wedding anniversary June 26
Pregnant July 4
Husband out of town and a concert July 10
Vacation July 14-23
Move July 31/Aug. 1
Mom in town helping for 10 days
Unpacking, doctors appointments and a friend in town.

Fill in work, commuting, regular family duties and tell me when I have down time. I can't figure out if I'm exhausted from go, go, going or the pregnancy.
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This time around I have felt nauseous and dizzy on a regular basis. You can bet at 9am and 6pm I'm not feeling well. Luckily I don't throw up but I am amazed at women who deal with this for all 40 weeks all day!

I haven't taken "bump" pictures each week like I did with Sophie and that makes me a little sad but I still have 30 weeks to hop on that bandwagon.
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I had an ultrasound last week and everything appears to be going well. Our little squirt waved at us and had a heartbeat of 160bpm. Sophie is still clueless. Ignorance is bliss!
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Sophie is doing great. She has taken to changing outfits multiple times a day and seems to prefer "comfy pants" like her mom. PJs often get swapped out for regular play clothes during the day. She also loves to wear her and my winter hats and a tutu that came with a pair of jammies with any outfit!
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Her vocabulary has expanded 10 fold in the past few months. Here is a sampling:
Yes, please.
Pakistan.
I coming! (usually said as I enter the bathroom.)
Read books.
Sophie help.
and mimicking me "Thank you honey."

She is mostly sweet with a two year old tantrum here and there.